Subject: Sports (Page 93)

She literally wiped the court with her opponent.

Misspokements Sports

The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they would not be caught dead in otherwise.

novelist, screenwriter & businessman
Clothing Golf Sports

I’m going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes.

Misspokements Sports Time

I've seldom seen a horny player walk into a bar and not let out exactly what he did for a living.

(1947 – ) professional baseball player
Baseball Occupations Sex Sports Work

(He) started out here with the Astros and before that he was with the Orioles.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Misspokements Sports

Billy Loes was the only player in the majors who could lose a ground ball in the sun.

(1926 – 2016) American baseball player, announcer & television host
Baseball Sports

If winning isn't everything, why do they keep score?

(1913 – 1970) football coach
Football Sports

Grandmother or tails, sir?

Sports

Well, that was a cliff-dweller.

professional baseball manager
Baseball Malaprops Sports

If you are going to have a fight with a visiting club, be sure to insult them the day they come to town, and not the last day of the series. It pays off better.

(1914 – 1986) American baseball team owner & promoter
Baseball Conflict Fights Sports

Real golfers, no matter what the provocation, never strike a caddie with the driver; the sand wedge is far more effective.

Golf Sports

He had eyes in his ears.

American basketball announcer
Basketball Sports

Two kinds of American football players ain't worth a damn: one that never does what he's told and the other that does nothing but what he's told.

(1923 – 2013) American professional football coach
Football Sports

Colin had a hard on in practice earlier, and I bet he wished he had a hard on now.

motor racing commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

We are in such a slump that even the ones that aren’t drinkin’ aren’t hittin’.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Alcohol Baseball Food/Drink Sports

The sun doesn’t shine on the same dog’s butt every day but we sure didn’t expect a total eclipse.

American football player, coach & college athletics administrator
Misspokements Sports

His gloves, dear. I've never been hit by an eye in my life.

British boxer
Sports

There’ll be a man on the moon before he (Gaylord Perry) hits a home run.

(1922 – ) American baseball player & manager
Baseball Sports

If everyone were like him (Mitch Williams) I wouldn't play. I'd find a safer way to make a living.

baseball player
Baseball

He’s easy to do. Sit on the bench. Play about 10 minutes a game.

Czech hockey player
Hockey Sports

It hurt to even bump into him.

(1914 – 1981) American boxing champion
Boxing Sports