Subject: Sports (Page 93)

The good chip allows you to whistle while you walk in the dark alleys of golf.

(1916 – 2008) American professional golfer
Golf Sports

Mixed doubles are always starting divorces. If you play with your wife, you fight with her. If you play with somebody else, she fights with you.

American professional tennis player
Marriage Sports

Did you know that the only Israeli gold medal in the history of the Olympics was in sailing? … further reinforcing the stereotype that Jews don’t tip!

Jewish-American stand-up comedian & writer
Sports

Well, there goes our 26-game hitting streak.

baseball manager
Baseball Sports

If you break 100, watch your golf; if you break 80, watch your business.

(1911 – 1999) comedian, author & columnist
Golf Sports Work

The older you get the stronger the wind gets… and it's always in your face.

(1940 – ) professional golfer
Golf Old Science/Weather Sports

Me and George and Billy are two of a kind.

professional baseball player
Misspokements Sports

A big factor in the game was the number of points scored.

(1939 – ) American football player & coach
Football Misspokements Sports

I can close any cut in the world in 50 seconds, so long as it ain't a total beheading.

boxing cut-man
Boxing Sports

Chip Shot: A short, low approach shot that gets a player into position for one or more missed puts.

Definitions Golf Sports

Real golfers, no matter what the provocation, never strike a caddie with the driver; the sand wedge is far more effective.

Golf Sports

The Mexicans… these tiny little men from South America.

British sports commentator
Boxing Misspokements People Sports

There are three things in the world that he held in the smallest esteem – slugs, poets and caddies with hiccups.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Golf Sports

I just think in order to be called a sport both teams need to know there’s a game going on.

(1975 – ) American comedian
Sports

Panthers Destroy Viking Visitors

Headlines Sports

At 180 mph, when your front wheel wants to play pogo stick, you don't do nothing. You don't sneeze, you don't hiccup, you don't even breathe. All you do is point it and hang on.

American motorcycle racer
Auto racing Sports

If I knew he was gonna throw a no-hitter, I would have thrown one too.

professional baseball player
Baseball Sports

How would you like it in your job if every time you made a small mistake, a red light went on over your desk and 15,000 people stood up and yelled at you?

professional hockey goalie
Hockey Sports

The hitter asks the owner to give him a big raise so he can go somewhere he's never been, and the owner says "You mean third base?"

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Baseball Sports

By the way Frank Bruno went on about beating Bugner, you'd have thought he had won the Booker prize, not just taken time to out-jab an old man bullocking around pretty harmlessly in the pension queue.

(1944 – ) British sportswriter
Boxing Sports