Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Success
(Page 4)
I don’t think we have failed, we have just found another way that doesn’t work. – After an unsuccessful around-the-world balloon flight
Andy Elson
American engineer, businessman & adventurer
Success
Failure
Nobody loves a winner who wins all the time.
Henry's Quirk of Human Nature
Success
Winners
To achieve great things, two things are needed; a plan, and not quite enough time.
Leonard Bernstein
(1918 – 1990) American composer, conductor, author & pianist
Success
Success is getting what you want, and happiness is wanting what you get.
‘Brother’ David Gardner
(1926 – 1983) American comedian & singer
Emotions
Happiness
Success
When someone follows you all the way to the shop and watches you buy toilet paper, you know your life has changed.
Jennifer Aniston
(1969 – ) American actress, film director & producer
Life
Success
Celebrity
Toilet paper
There are five stages in the life of an actor: Who’s Mary Astor? … Get me Mary Astor… Get me a Mary Astor type… Get me a young Mary Astor… Who’s Mary Astor?
Mary Astor
(1906 – 1987) American actress
Acting
Age
Entertainment
Success
Actors
Celebrity
The road to Easy Street goes through the sewer.
John Madden
(1936 – ) American football coach & television announcer
Success
Easy Street
Sewers
I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible… and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary.
Victor Borge
(1909 – 2000) Danish-born comedian & pianist
Children
Family
Parents
Success
In this world there are winners and losers – and, of course, ‘the others’, who comprise the majority.
Simon Munnery
(1967 – ) English comedian
Failure
People
Success
Losers
Winners
An actor’s success has the life expectancy of a small boy about to look into a gas tank with a lighted match.
Fred Allen
(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Acting
Entertainment
Success
Actors
L.A. is so celebrity-conscious, there's a restaurant that only serves Jack Nicholson – and when he shows up, they tell him there'll be a ten-minute wait.
Bill Maher
(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Places
Success
Celebrity
Jack Nicholson
Los Angeles
Restaurants
The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that is the way to bet.
Damon Runyon
(1990 – 1946) newspaperman & writer
Activities
Success
Betting
I performed for the U.S. troops in Guantanamo Bay, and signed autographs for people who’ve been gone from America for so long they didn’t realize that I’m not famous.
Mike Birbiglia
(1978 – ) American comedian & writer
Success
Celebrity
Fame
Success can be insured only by devising a defense against failure of the contingency plan.
Boyle’s Tenth Law
Failure
Murphy’s Laws
Success
Contingency plans
Ability is what will get you to the top if the boss has no daughter.
Anonymous
Success
Work
Ability
Fame means absolutely nothing except a good table at a restaurant.
Eileen Atkins
(1934 – ) English actress & occasional screenwriter
Success
Celebrity
Fame
I have never known a person to live to be one hundred and be remarkable for anything else.
Josh Billings
(1818 – 1885) humorist
Age
Old
Success
Dirty blonde … I made myself platinum, but I was born a dirty blonde.
Mae West
(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Appearance
Body
Success
Dirty blonde
Success can be insured only by devising a defense against failure of the contingency plan.
Anonymous
Failure
Murphy’s Laws
Problems
Success
Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.
Fred Allen
(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Entertainment
Success
Celebrity
Ed Sullivan
Talent
The only winner in the War of 1812 was Tchaikovsky.
Solomon Short
David Gerrold (1944 – ) science fiction author
Entertainment
Music
Success
Tchaikovsky
War of 1812
Winners
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