Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Success
(Page 4)
I don't want to get so famous to where the guy who shoots me becomes famous.
Michael ‘Geechy Guy’ Cathers
(1964 – ) American stand-up comedian
Conflict
Killing
Success
Celebrity
Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for a star.
Fred Allen
(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Hollywood
Places
Success
Celebrity
Iowa
Success took me to her bosom like a maternal boa constrictor.
Noel Coward
(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Success
If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.
Steven Wright
(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Success
Skydiving
The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that is the way to bet.
Damon Runyon
(1990 – 1946) newspaperman & writer
Activities
Success
Betting
Give me a couple of years, and I’ll make that actress an overnight success.
Samuel Goldwyn
(1879 – 1974) film producer
Success
Time
Overnight success
Oxymorons
Dirty blonde … I made myself platinum, but I was born a dirty blonde.
Mae West
(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Appearance
Body
Success
Dirty blonde
You can always tell luck from ability by its duration.
Anonymous
Success
Ability
Luck
I am a success today because I had a friend who believed in me and I didn’t have the heart to let him down.
Abraham Lincoln
(1809 – 1865) 16th U.S. president
Friends
People
Relationships
Success
Young
Disappointment
Blessed is he who talks in circles, for he shall become a big wheel.
Frank Dane
(1902 – 1963) Danish actor
Communication
Speech
Success
If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
Steven Wright
(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Success
If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style.
Quentin Crisp
(1908 – 1999) English writer
Failure
Problems
Success
In this world there are winners and losers – and, of course, ‘the others’, who comprise the majority.
Simon Munnery
(1967 – ) English comedian
Failure
People
Success
Losers
Winners
Give me two years, and I'll make her an overnight star.
Harry Cohn
(1891 – 1958) American president of Columbia Pictures & producer
Success
Time
Celebrity
Overnight star
I've searched all the parks in all the cities and found no statues of committees.
G.K. Chesterton
(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist
Places
Success
Things
Committees
Statues
I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible… and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary.
Victor Borge
(1909 – 2000) Danish-born comedian & pianist
Children
Family
Parents
Success
Old age is like everything else; to make a success of it, you've got to start young.
Theodore Roosevelt
(1858 – 1919) 26th U.S. president
Age
Old
Success
Young
Being frustrated is disagreeable, but the real disasters in life begin when you get what you want.
Kristol's Law
Murphy’s Laws
Success
Frustration
A celebrity is one who is known to many persons he is glad he doesn't know.
H.L. Mencken
(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
People
Success
Celebrity
Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some hire public relations officers.
Daniel J. Boorstin
(1914 – ) historian
Communication
Success
Birth
Getting worried there might not be enough talent in America to accommodate all these singing shows.
Natasha Leggero
(1974 – ) American comedian
America
Places
Success
Talent
Page 4 of 11
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