Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Success
(Page 4)
At all those banquets, stars get up and give credit to their coaches and parents; I give credit to no one; I made myself what I am today.
Bob Uecker
(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball
Self
Sports
Success
Career
This stammer got me a home in Beverly Hills, and I'm not about to screw with it now.
Bob Newhart
(1929 – ) American comedian & comic actor
Communication
Speech
Success
Stammers
The worst part of having success is to try finding someone who is happy for you.
Bette Midler
(1945 – ) singer, actress & comedian
Success
You can always tell luck from ability by its duration.
Anonymous
Success
Ability
Luck
Success can be insured only by devising a defense against failure of the contingency plan.
Boyle’s Tenth Law
Failure
Murphy’s Laws
Success
Contingency plans
There are two types of actors: those who say they want to be famous and those who are liars.
Kevin Bacon
(1958 – ) American film & theater actor
Characteristics
Honesty
Success
Actors
Celebrity
Fame
Liars
Seven months ago I could give a single command and 541,000 people would immediately obey it; today I can’t get a plumber to come to my house.
Norman Schwarzkopf
(1934 – 2012) United States Army general
Occupations
Success
Work
No one wants to hear about the labor pains, they just want to see the baby.
Lou Brock
(1939 – ) American baseball player
Success
Work
Results
If at first you don’t succeed, blame your parents.
Marcelene Cox
writer
Family
Parents
Success
You have to give Pete credit for what he's accomplished; he never went to college and the only book he ever read was
The Pete Rose Story.
Karolyn Rose
Ex-wife of Pete Rose
Baseball
Sports
Success
Accomplishments
Pete Rose
The degree of failure is in direct proportion to the effort expended and to the need for success.
Sod's Other Law
Failure
Murphy’s Laws
Problems
Success
It’s amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.
Harry Truman
(1884 – 1972) 33rd U.S. president
Success
Work
Accomplishments
Credit
If
A
is a success in life, then
A
equals
x
plus
y
plus
z
; work is
x
;
y
is play; and
z
is keeping your mouth shut.
Albert Einstein
(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Life
Success
Dirty blonde … I made myself platinum, but I was born a dirty blonde.
Mae West
(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Appearance
Body
Success
Dirty blonde
If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.
Steven Wright
(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Success
Skydiving
The universal aptitude for ineptitude makes any human accomplishment an incredible miracle.
John Paul Stapp
(1910 – 1999) American U.S. Air Force officer & flight surgeon
Murphy’s Laws
Success
Accomplishment
Stapp’s Law
Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success.
Jim Backus
(1913 – 1989) American radio, television, film & voice actor
Marriage
Success
Wives
The Hollywood tradition I like best is called "sucking up to the stars."
Johnny Carson
(1925 – 2005) television host
Hollywood
Places
Success
Celebrity
Tradition
Being a star has made it possible for me to get insulted in places where the average Negro could never hope to go and get insulted.
Sammy Davis Jr.
(1925 – 1990) American entertainer
Characteristics
Insults
People
Success
Celebrity
Racism
At some time in the life cycle of virtually every organization, its ability to succeed in spite of itself runs out.
Brien's First Law
Murphy’s Laws
Success
Organizations
Success can be insured only by devising a defense against failure of the contingency plan.
Anonymous
Failure
Murphy’s Laws
Problems
Success
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