Subject: Time (Page 6)

There’s no future in time travel.

Activities Future Past Time Travel

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won’t even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Communication Husbands Marriage Speech Time Wives

Time is an illusion; lunchtime doubly so.

(1952 – 2001) English writer, dramatist, & musician
Time

Historians: People who won’t let bygones be bygones.

Definitions History Occupations Time

One night I came home very late; it was the next night.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Time

The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once. (also attributed to Wheeler)

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Time

Tradition is the illusion of permanence.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Situations Time

If you try to pop the unpopped kernels in the microwave, you go back in time.

(1970 –) American stand-up comedian
Time

The length of time it takes a bill to pass through the legislature is in inverse proportion to the number of lobbying groups favoring it.

Government Law Murphy’s Laws Time

Delay is the deadliest form of denial.

Murphy’s Laws Time

The Baltimore Colts are a bright young team; it seems as if they have their future ahead of them.

(1919 – 2006) American sports announcer
Future Misspokements Sports Things

The concept of two people living together for twenty-five years without having a cross word suggests a lack of spirit only to be admired in sheep.

(1890 – 1971) English humorist, novelist & playwright
Marriage Time

Perhaps nothing has changed in the course of history as much as historians.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
History Time

Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week.

Proverbs Time

It’s not only a race against the clock but a race against time itself.

Misspokements Time

If you’ve only got one day to live, come see the Toronto Maple Leafs… it’ll seem like forever.

hockey announcer
Hockey Sports Time

I just don’t want you to do nothing on the sperm of the moment.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops Time

Retirement: The time of life when you stop lying about your age and start lying about the house.

Definitions Time Work

In the words of the old song, it’s a long time from May to December but, you know, it’s an equally long time from December to May.

professional football player, coach & executive
Misspokements Time

When I took office, only high energy physicists had ever heard of what is called the Worldwide Web…. Now even my cat has its own page.

Animals Cats Science/Weather Time

The amount of sleep needed by the average person is five minutes more.

typographer
Activities Situations Sleep Time