Subject: Work » Occupations (Page 5)

A critic is a legless man who teaches running.

(1880 – 1946) American playwright, critic & writer

Easiest job in the world of course: Australian psychiatrist, “Gday Gday how you doing… no worries… next.”

(1964 – ) English comedian

Architect: One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.

Diplomat: A headwaiter who is allowed to sit down occasionally. 

(1921 – 2004) English actor & author

Historians: People who won’t let bygones be bygones.

Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician

Author: A writer with connections in the publishing industry.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter

If I were a grave-digger, or even a hangman, there are some people I could work for with a great deal of enjoyment.

(1803 – 1857) English writer

Chef: A man with a big enough vocabulary to give the soup a different name every day.

Accountant: Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.

If you enjoy shaming people, I suggest dentistry as a profession.

Canadian-American comedian & writer

A critic is a bunch of biases held loosely together by a sense of taste.

(1926 – 2007) American jazz critic & book reviewer

If a scientist were to cut his ear off, no one would take it as evidence of a heightened sensibility.

(1915 – 1987) Brazilian/British biologist

I learned in business that you had to be very careful when you told somebody that’s working for you to do something, because the chances were very high he’d do it; in government, you don’t have to worry about that.

(1920 – ) U.S. Secretary of State economist, statesman & businessman

Theatre director: a person engaged by the management to conceal the fact that the players cannot act.

(1877 – 1947) British diarist & critic

I'm not an actor, and I enclose met press cuttings to prove it.

(1915 – 1999) American stage, film & television actor

Men in high levels of government seldom surf.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer

An actor is the kind of guy who, if you ain't talking about him, ain't listening.

(1910 – 1984) American film producer & publicist

There may be said to be three sorts of lawyers, able, unable, and lamentable.

(1805 – 1864) English editor, novelist & sporting writer

I never met anybody who said when they were a kid, “I wanna grow up and be a critic.”

(1940 – 2005) comedian & movie actor

Statistician: One who knows which numbers to use in any eventuality.