Subject: Work (Page 17)

Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all.

(1920 – 2001) American writer & humorist
Characteristics People Work

The amount of work done varies inversely with the amount of time spent in the office.

Murphy’s Laws Time Work

Sometimes I wish I could do at least one thing at a time.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Work

Authority tends to assign jobs to those least able to do them.

Murphy’s Laws People Work

If not controlled, work will flow to the competent man until he submerges.

Murphy’s Laws Work

It (a cubicle) basically says, like, 'You know what?… we don't think you're smart enough for an office, but we don't want you to look at anybody.'

(1968 – ) American stand-up comedian
Intelligence Work

Things could always be worse; for instance, you could be ugly and work in the Post Office.

writer, humorist, columnist & speaker
Appearance Characteristics Ugly Work

Undertaker: The last guy to let you down.

Definitions Occupations Work

I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.

(1775 – 1834) English critic & essayist
Time Work

Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell, and advertise.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Sleep Work

The first myth of management is that it exists.
The second myth of management is that success equals skill.
Corollary (Johnson) – Nobody really knows what is going on anywhere within your organization.

Murphy’s Laws Work

I think that’s what they call professional courtesy.

(1897 – 1953) American writer & producer
Occupations

Astronomer: Night watchman.

Definitions Occupations

Easiest job in the world of course: Australian psychiatrist, “Gday Gday how you doing… no worries… next.”

(1964 – ) English comedian
Occupations Work

Nurses: Patient people.

Definitions Health Occupations

Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Murphy’s Laws People Work

It is easier to square the circle than to get round a mathematician.

(1806 – 1871) English mathematician
Occupations Science/Weather Work

The pollen count, now that’s a difficult job… especially if you’ve got hay fever

(1964 – ) English comedian
Health Occupations Work

What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Situations Work

Architect: One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.

Definitions Occupations

I'll never forget the time they gave me a farewell party at work. I was so surprised – I didn't even know I was fired.

comedian
Work