Subject: Work (Page 24)

Executive Ability: The art of getting the credit for all the hard work that somebody else does.

Definitions Work

Taxi Driver: Worker who earns a living by driving customers away.

Definitions Occupations

Sailors ought never to go to church; they ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.

(1866 – 1946) English author
Occupations Work

Love is the only industry which can't operate on a five-day week.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Emotions Love Time Work

Here's a six-foot-ten guy in sneakers and the lady's asking me, 'Profession?'


Basketball Occupations Sports Work

I live in a two-income household… but who knows how long my mom can keep that up.

Jewish-American stand-up comedian & writer
Family Money Mothers Travel Work

Nurses: Patient people.

Definitions Health Occupations

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

Housework Work

This isn’t exactly a stable business; it’s like trying to stand up in a canoe with your pants down.

(1925 – 2011) American actor
Acting Entertainment Occupations Work

I never met anybody who said when they were a kid, “I wanna grow up and be a critic.”

(1940 – 2005) comedian & movie actor
Communication Occupations Work

If you're gonna be late, then be late and not just 2 minutes – make it an hour and enjoy your breakfast.

(1961 – ) English comedian, actor, director, producer & writer
Time TV/Movie Quotes Work

Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
Housework Women Work

Executive: A person who can take two hours for lunch without anybody missing him.

Definitions Occupations

A professional is one who does a good job even when he doesn't feel like it.

Murphy’s Laws Occupations Work

Clergyman: A ticket speculator outside the gates of Heaven.

Beliefs Definitions Occupations

When a great many people are unable to find work, unemployment results.

(1872 – 1933) 30th U.S. president
Misspokements Work

Author: A writer with connections in the publishing industry.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Occupations Work

The one who does the least work will get the most credit.

Murphy’s Laws Work

Boss: A personal dictator appointed to those of us fortunate enough to live in free societies.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Work

The ideal resume will turn up one day after the position is filled.

Murphy’s Laws Work

A toastmaster is a man who eats a meal he doesn’t want so he can get up and tell a lot of stories he doesn’t remember to people who’ve already heard them.

(1898 – 1981) actor, singer, songwriter & movie producer
Communication Occupations People Work