Subject: Work (Page 5)

Drama Critic: A person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy and Jill a rich widow.

(1899 – 1995) humorist

America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.

(1899 – 1995) humorist

People are still willing to do an honest day's work; the trouble is they want a week's pay for it.

(1911 – 1999) comedian, author & columnist

Meetings are a great trap; however, they are indispensable when you don’t want to do anything.

(1908 – 2006) Canadian-American economist

We are paid to have dirty minds.

(1903 – 1986) American film censor

Acting: A good training for political life; the only problem is the speeches are harder to learn.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor

I don’t want to live on in my work, I want to live on in my apartment.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

I never lost my job while I was leading a race.

American auto racer

If you really want something in life you have to work for it; now quiet, they’re about to announce the lottery numbers.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may get to be a boss and work twelve hours a day.

(1874 – 1963) American poet

A consultant is someone you pay a hundred-dollars-an-hour to give you the same advice you ignore from your assistant.

(1927 – ) magician & comedy writer

I got my first full-time job, but I could have sworn I was making more money in college, working for my parents as their daughter.

(1977 – ) American comedian

Once a man wants to hold a public office, he is absolutely no good for honest work.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

Easiest job in the world of course: Australian psychiatrist, “Gday Gday how you doing… no worries… next.”

(1964 – ) English comedian

The ratio of time involved in work to time available for work is usually about 0.6.

You think when gym teachers are younger, they’re thinking, “You know, I want to teach, but I don’t want to read?”

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor

I was a trapeze artist…. but I was let go.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer

Overall, I’d say my career as a photographer has been a bit of a blur.

(1964 – ) English comedian

Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist

One thing about being a cabbie is that you don’t have to worry about being fired from a good job.

(1935 – ) American actor