Author: Anonymous Page 109

Vision: Looking farther than you can see.

Definitions Intelligence Thinking

Sometimes you just have to let sleeping dogs fall where they may.

Mixed metaphors

“I think I’ll use a different font,” said Tom boldly.

Tom Swifties

When a guy goes to a hooker, he's not paying her for sex, he's paying her to leave.

People Sex

Clarification: To fill in the background with so many details that the foreground goes underground.

Definitions

Chef: A man with a big enough vocabulary to give the soup a different name every day.

Cooking Definitions Food/Drink Occupations Work

It's time to grab the bull by the tail and look it in the eye.

Mixed metaphors

Twins: Infant replay.

Children Definitions Family

If you let that sort of thing go on, your bread and butter will be cut right out from under your feet.

Mixed metaphors

“This wind is awful,” blustered Tom.

Tom Swifties

Multitasking: Messing up several chores at the same time.

Activities Definitions

Vasectomy: Never having to say you’re sorry.

Definitions

Even if you gave him poison he wouldn't die until he'd recovered the deposit on the bottle.

Frugal Money

I once knew a woman who offered her honor, so I honored her offer, and all night long I was on her and off her.

Sex Wordplay

“This is the most common language used on micros,” said Tom basically.

Tom Swifties

Tavern: Thirst come, thirst served.

Definitions Food/Drink

Science: An orderly arrangement of what, at the moment, seems to be the facts.

Beliefs Definitions Facts Science/Weather

We’re on the same page length.

Mixed metaphors

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.

Life Proverbs

… to love and to cherish, till death do us apart.

Malaprops

Honeymoon Sandwich: Just lettuce alone, with no dressing.

Definitions Marriage