Author: Anonymous Page 116

Usher: One who takes a leading part in a theatre.

Wordplay

Just keep your eye on the pie.

Malaprops

“I don’t have a boyfriend,” said Mary guilelessly.

Tom Swifties

“I used to be a paratrooper,” Tom explained.

Tom Swifties

His nose is so big… he has to lift it to eat.

Appearance Body Exaggerations

He was lookin' at me like a country mule lookin at a freight train.

Expressions

“It’s not fair!” said Tom darkly.

Tom Swifties

Amateur Athlete: An athlete who is paid in cash, not by check..

Definitions

He’s wearing a tomahawk haircut.

Malaprops

“Take me to the dance,” Mary bawled.

Tom Swifties

“Who left the toilet seat down?” Tom asked peevishly.

Tom Swifties

When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.

Communication Language

That e-mail was from Ann On.

Misspokements

Acoustic: An instrument used in shooting pool.

Definitions

Democracy: A state of mind in which every man is as good as every other man, provided he really is.

Definitions Democracy Government

Babysitter: A teenager you hire to watch your TV.

Definitions

A man's home is his castle – let him clean it.

Mixed metaphors

It was so cold… flashers were just describing themselves.

Cold Exaggerations Science/Weather

Discretion: Being able to raise your eyebrow instead of your voice.

Definitions

“Congratulations; you graduated,” said Tom diplomatically.

Tom Swifties

“You must be my host,” Tom guessed.

Tom Swifties