Author: Anonymous Page 27

Spanking: Stern punishment.

Definitions

“Pass the playing cards,” said Tom ideally.

Tom Swifties

Why is abbreviation such a long word?

Communication Language

“I have three houses, and I’m going to buy another,” said Tom forebodingly.

Tom Swifties

Second Place: The first loser.

Definitions

Fishing: A venerable contest in which modern man pits his intelligence and technology against the native wit of primitive aquatic vertebrates, and generally finishes second.

Activities Definitions

Fore: A golf bawl.

Definitions Golf Sports

Gimme: An agreement between two duffer golfers who can’t putt.

Definitions Golf Sports

Plumber: A drain surgeon.

Definitions Occupations

Babysitter: A teenager you hire to watch your TV.

Definitions

“I decided which car to purchase after looking at the pictures,” said Tom autobiographically.

Tom Swifties

There's more that one way to skin the cat out of the bag.

Mixed metaphors

He was grinnin like a possum eatin a sweet tater.

Expressions

World: A place that was built in six days – and looks it.

Definitions Places World

Charity begins at home… at about 6:30, when they call you and interrupt your dinner.

Characteristics

“I want a motorized bicycle,” Tom moped.

Tom Swifties

We wanted to help the indiguous people of the country.

Malaprops

He's going up and down like a metronome.

Malaprops

Military Expert: One who tells you what’s going to happen tomorrow – then tells you why it didn’t.

Definitions Government Military

“I like fuzzy bunnies”, gurgled Tom acutely.

Tom Swifties

If you would like to get your wife’s attention – just look comfortable!.

Marriage Wives