Author: Anonymous Page 27

He couldn’t grow pole beans in a pile of horse shit.

Expressions Fools Intelligence Stupidity

That's putting the chicken before the cart.

Mixed metaphors

“I manufacture tabletops for shops,” said Tom counterproductively.

Tom Swifties

“They had to amputate them both at the ankles,” said Tom defeatedly.

Tom Swifties

This will help us to know that we are covering all of the gamuts.

Mixed metaphors

It's hotter than the hinges on the gates of hell.

Expressions Heat Science/Weather

“If I let go of the ceiling it will collapse,” Tom upheld.

Tom Swifties

State-Of-The-Art: Soon-to-be-obsolete.

Definitions

A Canadian is sort of like an American, but without the gun.

America Arms Conflict People Places

Let's bury this dead horse.

Mixed metaphors

Middle age is when we can do just as much as ever – but would rather not.

Age

Accordion: A pleated bagpipe.

Definitions Entertainment Music Things

Kleptomaniac: A thief with breeding.

Definitions

Once you open a can of worms, they always come home to roost.

Mixed metaphors

Woman: A creature whom God made beautiful that man might love her, and unreasonable that she might love man.

Definitions People

I just asked you what time it was, not how a watch works.

Communication Expressions

He was as mad as a mule chewing on bumblebees!

Miscellaneous

Accomplice: One who lacks brains as well as honesty.

Definitions

Lecture: A process by which the notes of the professor become the notes of the student, without passing through the minds of either.

Definitions Education School

We were like two ships sinking in the night.

Malaprops

I'm happier than a woodpecker in a lumber yard.

Miscellaneous