Author: Anonymous Page 48

Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

Beliefs Communication

“I’m losing my hair,” Tom bawled.

Tom Swifties

If you try to eat this elephant all in one bite, you’re going to have a hell of an indigestion.

Mixed metaphors

I.T.: Customer Support without the common sense.

Definitions

A loose tongue spoils the broth.

Mixed metaphors

Depression: A period during which we have to get along without the things our grandparents never dreamed of.

Definitions Money Past Time

Liberal: One who tolerates all beliefs and opinions except those with which he disagrees.

Beliefs Definitions

Twins: Infant replay.

Children Definitions Family

I am sure I have done everything in my power since I exploded the affair.

Malaprops

It was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that caused the trouble in the garden.

Beliefs People Religion Sex

It's time to grab the bull by the tail and look it in the eye.

Mixed metaphors

Ascribe: Newspaper reporter.

Definitions

Historian: An editor of yesterday’s news.

Definitions History Occupations Time Work

Admiral: A general at sea.

Definitions Military

It is so hot… I saw two trees fighting over a dog.

Exaggerations Heat Science/Weather

Mixed Company: What you are in when you think of a story you can’t tell there.

Definitions People

Ant: A small insect that, though always at work, still finds time to go to picnics.

Animals Definitions

“Would you like some soda?” asked Tom caustically.

Tom Swifties

Acting is pretending, and the most difficult part is pretending you’re eating regularly.

Acting Eating Entertainment Food/Drink Occupations

Sympathy: What one woman offers another in exchange for details.

Definitions

She is so fat… she laid on the beach and people tried to push her back into the ocean.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat