Author: Anonymous Page 59

Anoint: To grease a king or other great functionary already sufficiently slippery.

Definitions

Information travels more surely to those with a lesser need to know.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws People

Success can be insured only by devising a defense against failure of the contingency plan.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems Success

She really stuck her neck out on a limb.

Mixed metaphors

Testosterone: Hormone which causes facial hair, muscularity, a deep voice, speeding tickets, the desire to watch professional wrestling, Arnold Shwarzenegger movies, war, fist fights, and the need to purchase cocktails for women with names like “Boom Boom. ”

Definitions Men

Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.

Appearance Body Definitions

Tackle that hurdle

Mixed metaphors

We certainly don't want to rock the apple cart.

Mixed metaphors

“Here’s another baseball glove”, Tom admitted.

Tom Swifties

Better at sex than anyone; now all he needs is a partner.

Insults Sex

Abortion: Love's labor lost.

Definitions

“You find it very large?” said Mr. Podsnap, spaciously

Tom Swifties

Etiquette: A convenient code of conduct which makes lying a virtue and snobbishness a righteous deed.

Definitions

So crosseyed, she could look at her own head.

Appearance Expressions

Busier than a puppy in room full of rubber balls.

Expressions

Agreeable Person: One who agrees with me.

Definitions

Virtue: Lack of opportunity.

Characteristics Definitions

He clams up tighter than a drum.

Mixed metaphors

Girdle: Accessory after the fat.

Appearance Clothing Definitions Wordplay

Indifference: A woman’s feeling towards a man, which is interpreted by the man as “playing hard to get.”

Definitions

A husband always prefers his wife’s mother-in-law to his own.

Marriage