Author: Anonymous Page 6

It doesn't take rocket appliances.

Intelligence Malaprops

Eating humble crow

Misspokements

Refinement: The ability to yawn without opening your mouth.

Characteristics Definitions

“Nobody has scored yet in the tennis game,” said Tom lovingly.

Tom Swifties

Vuja de: The feeling you've never been here.

Definitions

Don’t be discouraged if your children reject your advice; years later they will offer it to their offspring.

Beliefs Children Family Opinion

She looked gorgeous in her new dress – absolutely explicit.

Malaprops

Pun: A short quip followed by a long groan.

Definitions

There’s no future in time travel.

Activities Future Past Time Travel

Courtship: A period during which a girl decides whether or not she can do better.

Definitions Relationships

“Get out of here!” said Tom believingly.

Tom Swifties

I wouldn't trust him with my bargepole.

Mixed metaphors

We drove around and looked at some apartments, and then we looked at some condoms.

Malaprops

Congress: A body of men brought together to slow down the government.

Congress Definitions Government

Marital Freedom: The liberty that allows a husband to do exactly that which his wife pleases.

Definitions Marriage

Wedding License: A certificate that gives a woman the legal right to drive a man.

Definitions Marriage

Cuddling: An act of warmth and affection that a husband will inevitably interpret as foreplay.

Definitions

The police surrounded the building and threw an accordion around the block.

Malaprops Situations

Parenthood: Feeding the mouth that bites you.

Definitions Family Parents Wordplay

Which way are the tea leaves blowing?

Mixed metaphors

Apathy: Vigor mortis.

Definitions