Author: Anonymous Page 65

Laziness: The habit of resting before you get tired.

“I decided which car to purchase after looking at the pictures,” said Tom autobiographically.

The [outdoor] sculpture park has opened its doors for the summer.

Education: A progressive discovery of our own ignorance.

Depression: A period in which you have no belt to tighten.

“The executioner has received the tool he needs”, said Tom with a heavy accent.

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

I'm going to the store to buy a soup latrine.

If the odds are a million to one against something occurring, chances are 50–50 it will.

Memorial Service: A farewell party for someone who has already left.

Bikini: Baiting Suit.

Budget: A schedule for going into debt systematically.

“I insist on naming the first male insect”, said Tom adamantly.

We may never know exactly how much others know about us, but we can always suspect it.

“Would you like to buy some cod?” asked Tom selfishly.

He was recently diagnosed with prostrate cancer.

It is so hot… the cows arre giving evaporated milk.

“I’ve deduced that this is the right way,” said Tom pathologically.

Divorce: A splitting headache.

I used to be indecisive; but now I'm not sure.

Oven: Compact home incinerator used for disposing of bulky pieces of meat and poultry.