Author: Anonymous Page 76

Do not argue with an idiot; he/she will drag you down to his/her level and beat you with experience.

Fools Intelligence People

Bowling Alley: A quiet place of amusement where you can hear a pin drop.

Activities Definitions

Clichés: Fixtures of speech.

Definitions Language

“I manufacture tabletops for shops,” said Tom counterproductively.

Tom Swifties

The menu was frozen in the amber of 1973.

Mixed metaphors

Impotent: Willy-nilly.

Definitions Sex

The philosophy exam was a piece of cake… which was a bit of a surprise, actually, because I was expecting some questions on a sheet of paper.

Education School

Cheerfulness: The art of concealing your true feelings.

Definitions Emotions Happiness

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Definitions

Anoint: To grease a king or other great functionary already sufficiently slippery.

Definitions

She could eat an apple through a picket fence.

Appearance Expressions

Clever Woman: One who knows how to give a man her own way.

Definitions

Life: Coming into the world wit nothing, leaving with nothing and, in between, giving everything to the IRS.

Definitions Life Taxes

Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.

Emotions Love Marriage

Debt: A trap which a man sets and baits himself, and then deliberately gets into.

Definitions Money

“The policeman charged me twenty bucks for speeding,” said Tom finally.

Tom Swifties

I would not trust him with a ten foot pole.

Mixed metaphors

“Doctor, why do you have to remove my womb?” asked Mary hysterically.

Tom Swifties

Gorilla see, gorilla do.

Mixed metaphors

Stomach: A bowl-shaped cavity containing the organs of indigestion.

Body Definitions

I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted pay checks.

Work