Author: Steve Martin Page 2

Writer’s block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Communication Reading/Writing

Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Activities Communication Dance Entertainment Music Speech

Don't have sex… it leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Communication Conversation Sex

I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Books Communication Reading/Writing Things

And now, I’m pleased to introduce the star of the film Gladiator, and a man I like to call a close, personal friend, but he told me not to…

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Friends People

These days it’s hard to look at a poodle without thinking what a good meal he would make.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Animals Dogs

I guess I wouldn’t believe in anything anymore if it weren’t for my lucky astrology mood watch.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Beliefs

I like a woman with a head on her shoulders… I hate necks.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Body Communication People Women Wordplay

I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Books Communication Reading/Writing

Persistence is a great substitute for talent.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Characteristics

Some people have a way with words, and other people… oh, uh, not have way.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Communication Wordplay

Yeah… I remember my first beer.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Alcohol Beer Food/Drink

A celebrity is anyone who looks like he spends more than two hours working on his hair.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Appearance Hair People

You’re like the Ernest Hemingway of bullshit.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Insults

If you’re studying Geology, which is all facts, as soon as you get out of school you forget it all, but Philosophy you remember just enough to screw you up for the rest of your life.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Education Learning

I believe you should place a woman on a pedestal – high enough so you can look up her dress.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
People Women

I believe that sex is the most wonderful and beautiful thing that money can buy.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Money Sex

I believe in equality; equality for everybody; no matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Beliefs Characteristics Self