Author: Steve Martin Page 2

A day without sunshine is like, you know… night.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Communication Wordplay

A celebrity is anyone who looks like he spends more than two hours working on his hair.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Appearance Hair People

You want to know how I think art should be taught to children? … Take them to a museum and say, “This is art, and you can’t do it.”

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Art Entertainment

I believe you should place a woman on a pedestal – high enough so you can look up her dress.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
People Women

Cruel Shoes

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Book Titles

I guess I wouldn’t believe in anything anymore if it weren’t for my lucky astrology mood watch.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Beliefs

Hosting the Oscars is much like making love to a woman… it's something I only get to do when Billy Crystal is out of town.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Activities Entertainment

Persistence is a great substitute for talent.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Characteristics

Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Emotions Entertainment Laughter People

First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Doctors Health Problems

Let me be the first to tweet about the 2018 earthquake.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Miscellaneous

I believe in equality; equality for everybody; no matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Beliefs Characteristics Self

All I’ve ever wanted was an honest week’s pay for an honest day’s work.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Money TV/Movie Quotes Work

These days it’s hard to look at a poodle without thinking what a good meal he would make.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Animals Dogs

Don't have sex… it leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Communication Conversation Sex

For sincere advice and the correct time, call any number at random at 3:00 a.m.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Activities Sleep Time

I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Books Communication Reading/Writing Things

And now, I’m pleased to introduce the star of the film Gladiator, and a man I like to call a close, personal friend, but he told me not to…

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Friends People