Keyword: Speed

I normally run the 40-yard dash in 4.9, but when a 280-pound guy is chasing me, I run it in 4.6.

American football player
Football Sports

Officer, I know I was going faster than 55 MPH, but I wasn't going to be on the
 road an hour.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Autos Science/Weather Things

Every car has a lot of speed in it. The trick is getting the speed out of it.

American auto racer
Auto racing Autos Sports Things

Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Science/Weather

Bus: A vehicle that runs faster when you run after it and runs slowly when you are inside it.

Definitions Driving

I put a new engine in my car, but I didn't take the other one out; now I can go 500 mph.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Situations Things

One of the greatest unsolved riddles of restaurant eating is that the customer usually gets faster service when the restaurant is crowded than when it is half empty; it seems that the less the staff has to do, the slower they do it.

Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

OK, so what’s the speed of dark?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Science/Weather

Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Auto racing Sports

How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks grey?

(1973 – ) American comedian
Animals Science/Weather

Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws.

(1952 – 2001) English writer, dramatist, & musician
Communication Science/Weather

The race is not always to the swift nor the battle to the strong – but that’s the way to bet.

Activities Murphy’s Laws Sports

When you are over the hill, you pick up speed.

Age Murphy’s Laws Old

Slow as Christmas

Miscellaneous

You’ve never been lost until you’ve been lost at Mach 3.


Science/Weather

That was faster than green grass through a goose.

Miscellaneous

Remember folks, stop lights timed for 35 mph are also timed for 70 mph.

(1948 – 1990) comedian
Autos Science/Weather Things

Computing power increases as the square of the cost; if you want to do it twice as cheaply, you have to do it four times slower.

Computers Money Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Situations Things

Maybe I have lost a step, but I had a few to lose.

professional football player
Football Sports

Slow as an iron toad

Miscellaneous

Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 ft/sec, is a cow that has been dropped out of a helicopter.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Animals