Telephone | Just-One-Liners.com

Keyword: Telephone

Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.

Fran Lebowitz

(1950 – ) writer & humorist

Communication Life People Things Teenagers Telephone

No, you didn’t wake me up; I had to get up to answer the phone anyway.

‘Yogi' Berra

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager

Sleep Yogi-isms Telephone

It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes.

Jay London

(1966 – ) American stand-up comic

Animals Dogs Telephone

All phone calls are obscene.

Karen Elizabeth Gordon

American author

Communication Language Obscene Telephone

The voice of love seemed to call me… but it was a wrong number.

P.G. Wodehouse

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist

Emotions Love Telephone

Telephone: A contrivance for letting us talk to people whom we don’t want to meet.

Anonymous

Definitions Things Telephone

Chatterbox: Another name for a telephone booth.

Anonymous

Definitions Things Chatterbox Telephone

My daughter and I are very close, we speak every single day and I call her every day and I say the same thing, “Pick up, I know you’re there.”

Joan Rivers

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

Children Communication Family Telephone

I’m too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I don’t know.

Garry Shandling

(1949 – 2016) American comedian & television actor

Characteristics Communication Sex Shyness Telephone

Have you ever called the wrong number? They’re always in aren’t they?

Lee Evans

(1964 – ) English comedian, writer, actor & musician

Situations Things Telephone

For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.

Johnny Carson

(1925 – 2005) television host

Communication Death Hair Time Fingernails Telephone

I plugged my phone in where the blender used to be and when I called someone they went “Aaaaahhhh…”

Steven Wright

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

Communication Things Blender Telephone

The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting.

Dave Barry

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist

Communication Computers Science/Weather Things Internet Telephone

The bathtub was invented in 1850 and the telephone in 1875 … In other words, if you had been living in 1850, you could have sat in the bathtub for 25 years without having to answer the phone.

Bill DeWitt

(1902 – 1982) American professional baseball executive & club owner

Miscellaneous Things Bathtub Telephone

Why is it that when a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment, but when a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95/minute?

Anonymous

Communication Men Speech Women Sexual harassment Telephone

Did you ever meet a mother who’s complained that her child phoned her too often… me neither.

Maureen Lipman

(1946 – ) British actress, columnist & comedian

Children Communication Family Mothers Telephone

I tell ya, my wife likes to talk during sex; last night, she called me from a motel.

Rodney Dangerfield

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

Communication Marriage Sex Speech Wives Telephone

I like to leave messages before the beep.

Steven Wright

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

Communication Things Messages Telephone

A telephone survey says that 51 percent of college students drink until they pass out at least once a month… the other 49 percent didn’t answer the phone.

Craig Kilborn

(1962 – ) American actor and talk show host

Alcohol Food/Drink People College students Telephone

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Keyword: Telephone

When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.

No, you didn’t wake me up; I had to get up to answer the phone anyway.

It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes.

All phone calls are obscene.

The voice of love seemed to call me… but it was a wrong number.

Telephone: A contrivance for letting us talk to people whom we don’t want to meet.

Chatterbox: Another name for a telephone booth.

My daughter and I are very close, we speak every single day and I call her every day and I say the same thing, “Pick up, I know you’re there.”

I’m too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I don’t know.

Have you ever called the wrong number? They’re always in aren’t they?

For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.

I plugged my phone in where the blender used to be and when I called someone they went “Aaaaahhhh…”

The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting.

The bathtub was invented in 1850 and the telephone in 1875 … In other words, if you had been living in 1850, you could have sat in the bathtub for 25 years without having to answer the phone.

Why is it that when a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment, but when a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95/minute?

Did you ever meet a mother who’s complained that her child phoned her too often… me neither.

I tell ya, my wife likes to talk during sex; last night, she called me from a motel.

I like to leave messages before the beep.

A telephone survey says that 51 percent of college students drink until they pass out at least once a month… the other 49 percent didn’t answer the phone.