Telephone | Just-One-Liners.com

Keyword: Telephone

No, you didn’t wake me up; I had to get up to answer the phone anyway.

‘Yogi' Berra

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager

Have you ever called the wrong number? They’re always in aren’t they?

Lee Evans

(1964 – ) English comedian, writer, actor & musician

Situations Things Telephone

If a man says, "I'll call you," and he doesn't, he didn't forget, he didn't lose your number, he didn't die… he just didn't want to call you.

Rita Rudner

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer

Communication Men People Telephone

I tell ya, my wife likes to talk during sex; last night, she called me from a motel.

Rodney Dangerfield

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

Communication Marriage Sex Speech Wives Telephone

Men like phones with lots of buttons; it makes them feel important.

Rita Rudner

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer

Communication Men People Things Buttons Telephone

I rang up British Telecom, I said 'I want to report a nuisance caller,' he said 'Not you again.’

Frank Carson

(1926 – 2012) Irish comedian & actor

Communication Nuisance callers Telephone

Chatterbox: Another name for a telephone booth.

Anonymous

Definitions Things Chatterbox Telephone

The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting.

Dave Barry

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist

Communication Computers Science/Weather Things Internet Telephone

If the phone doesn’t ring, it’s me.

Jimmy Buffett

(1946 – ) singer, songwriter, author & businessman

Emotions Things (also Firth’s Law of Tailoring) Telephone

The effectiveness of a telephone conversation is in inverse proportion to the time spent on it.

Parkinson's Law of the Telephone

Communication Conversation Murphy’s Laws Time Telephone

Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.

Fran Lebowitz

(1950 – ) writer & humorist

Communication Life People Things Teenagers Telephone

A telephone survey says that 51 percent of college students drink until they pass out at least once a month… the other 49 percent didn’t answer the phone.

Craig Kilborn

(1962 – ) American actor and talk show host

Alcohol Food/Drink People College students Telephone

No name, no matter how simple, can be correctly understood over the phone.

Anonymous Murphy's Law

Communication Murphy’s Laws Things Telephone

When a body is immersed in water, the telephone will ring.

Archimedes's Third Principle

Murphy’s Laws Baths Telephone

All phone calls are obscene.

Karen Elizabeth Gordon

American author

Communication Language Obscene Telephone

The bathtub was invented in 1850 and the telephone in 1875 … In other words, if you had been living in 1850, you could have sat in the bathtub for 25 years without having to answer the phone.

Bill DeWitt

(1902 – 1982) American professional baseball executive & club owner

Miscellaneous Things Bathtub Telephone

Remember to never answer a phone during sex, even if you hilariously answer with, ‘I can’t talk now, I’m going into a tunnel.'

Jimmy Carr

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor

Sex Things Telephone

The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.

Fran Lebowitz

(1950 – ) writer & humorist

Alcohol Communication People Telephone

1. The telephone will ring when you are outside the door, fumbling for your keys.
2. You will reach it just in time to hear the click of the caller hanging up.

Bess’s Universal Principles

Communication Murphy’s Laws Things Telephone

I like to leave messages before the beep.

Steven Wright

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

Communication Things Messages Telephone

Telephone: A contrivance for letting us talk to people whom we don’t want to meet.