Subject: Animals » Dogs

A man running for office puts me in mind of a dog that’s lost – he smells everybody he meets, and wags himself all over.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

These days it’s hard to look at a poodle without thinking what a good meal he would make.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician

A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.

(1918 – 2002) advice columnist

Aa dog walking on his hind legs … is not done well, but you are surprised to find it done at all.

(1709 – 1784) English author, essayist, critic, editor & lexicographer

I hate when women compare men to dogs; men are not dogs… dogs are loyal; I’ve never found any strange panties in my dog’s house

(1964 – ) American writer, stand-up comedian, actress, television host

As ugly as a bulldog chewing a wasp.

All dogs look up to you; all cats look down to you… only the pig looks at you as an equal.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator

I’m fond of pigs… dogs look up to us… cats look down on us… pigs treat us as equal.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator

Any man who hates dogs and babies can’t be all bad.

(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist

You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist

My sister wanted a cat for a pet… I wanted a dog, so they bought a cat and taught it to bark.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor

How come dogs hate it if you blow in their faces; but when they get in the car, they stick their heads out the window.

(1952 – ) comedian

If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.

(1919 – 2011) American news commentator & writer

Not only is life a bitch, it has puppies.

writer, humorist, columnist & speaker

Happiness is a warm puppy.

cartoon character in, Peanuts, by Charles Schulz (1922 – 2000)

That dog was so lazy he leaned against a fence to bark.

Let sleeping ducks lie.

A barking dog is often more useful than a sleeping lion.

(1783 – 1859) American author, essayist, biographer & historian

Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist

That’s why they’re man’s best friend… ‘cause guys want buddies that are dumber than they are; so do women, but they’ve already got men

(1957 – ) American comedian

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