Subject: Animals » Dogs (Page 2)

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs.

(1894 – 1963) English writer
Animals Dogs

Free Puppies: part German shepherd, part stupid dog.

Animals Classifieds Dogs

That’s why they’re man’s best friend… ‘cause guys want buddies that are dumber than they are; so do women, but they’ve already got men

(1957 – ) American comedian
Animals Dogs Men People

Any man who hates dogs and babies can’t be all bad.

(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist
Animals Dogs Emotions People

I tell ya, my dog is lazy; he don’t chase cars… he sits on the curb and takes down license plate numbers.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Animals Dogs

All bachelors love dogs, and we would love children just as much if they could be taught to retrieve.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Animals Dogs

I have nothing against dogs; I just hate rugs that go squish-squish.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Animals Dogs

It’s the only state in the country where you can stand on your front porch and actually watch your dog run away for three days.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian, television writer/producer & radio host
America Animals Dogs Places

He has all the characteristics of a dog except loyalty.

(1793 – 1863) American politician, statesman & soldier
Animals Characteristics Dogs Insults

The other day, I was walking my dog around my building… on the ledge.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Activities Dogs

I got a new dog… he’s a paranoid retriever; he brings back everything because he’s not sure what I threw him.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Animals Dogs Wordplay

What a dog I got, he found out we look alike, so he killed himself.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Animals Dogs People Self

Any man who hates dogs and babies can’t be all bad.

(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist
Animals Dogs Men People

FOUND – Gay dog – was crossing Dundas St. on Saturday, July 14th… won’t stop humping my dog! Please come get ‘em. Call 778-….

Animals Dogs Signs

It was raining cats and dogs, and I fell in a poodle.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Animals Cats Dogs

My parents had to tie a pork chop around my neck so the dog would play with me.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Animals Dogs Family Parents

My mom took me to a dog show and I won!!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Animals Appearance Dogs People Self

If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire; they're trained for that!

(1964 – ) English comedian
Animals Dogs Government Law

Let sleeping ducks lie.

Animals Dogs Malaprops

Why do I always meet women as I’m leaving the dog park with a big bag of poop? … and it’s always on the day I forgot my dog…

(1964 – ) American comedian
Animals Dogs Relationships Situations

The pug is living proof that God has a sense of humor.

(1954 – 2000) humorist, writer & radio commentator
Animals Beliefs Dogs God