Subject: Characteristics

Many who would not take the last cookie would take the last lifeboat.

(1913 – 1983) journalist & author

Egotism: Usually a case of mistaken nonentity.

(1907 – 1990) American actress

If Michaelangelo had been a heterosexual, the Sistine Chapel would have been painted basic white and with a roller.

1944) is an American writer & screenwriter

If it tastes good, you can't have it; if it tastes awful, you'd better clean your plate.

Pity the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

Marriage is the operation by which a woman's vanity and a man's egotism are extracted without an anesthetic.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist

These cigars are the nectarines of the gods.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

Liberty: Consists in giving everyone full right to mind everyone else’s business.

Duty is what one expects from others, it is not what one does oneself.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet

An optimist will tell you the glass is half-full; the pessimist, half-empty; and the engineer will tell you the glass is twice the size it needs to be.

Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.

A little bad taste is like a nice dash of paprika.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

Talk to a man about himself and he will listen for hours.

(1804 – 1881) British prime minister, politician & author

Honesty: The fear of being caught.

When the sun comes up, I have morals again.

(1952 – ) comedian

Slander: To lie, or tell the truth about someone.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.

(1916 – 1996) American comic book artist

A bore is a person not interested in you.

author

She looked at me like a cow looking at a new gate.

Charity begins at home… at about 6:30, when they call you and interrupt your dinner.













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