Subject: Communication » Wordplay (Page 5)

Oregon leads America in both marital infidelity and clinical depression… what a sad state of affairs.


Communication Wordplay

This bloke said to me: ‘I’m going to attack you with the neck of a guitar;’ I said: ‘Is that a fret?’

(1967 – ) English actor, writer & comedian
Miscellaneous Wordplay

Today’s subliminal thought is: …

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

Barber: The town cutup.

Definitions Wordplay

At the all-you-can-eat barbecue, you have to pay the regular dinner price if you eat less than you can.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Food/Drink Wordplay

He was married to an acrobat, but she caught him in the act.

Communication Wordplay

Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you may diet.

Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws Wordplay

People with Tourette’s… what makes them tick?

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Health Wordplay

Good girls go to heaven; bad girls go everywhere else.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Communication Wordplay

Five out of every three people have trouble understanding fractions.

(1927 – 2018) British comedian, singer & songwriter
Science/Weather Wordplay

Alarm Clock: That which scares the daylight out of you.

Definitions Wordplay

Also-ran: A British athlete.

British writer, cartoonist, poet & performer
England Places Wordplay

Dave drowned; so at the funeral we got him a wreath in the shape of a lifebelt; well, it’s what he would have wanted.

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
Communication Wordplay

I have Bright's Disease… and he has mine.

(1904 – 1979) Jewish-American humorist, author & screenwriter
Health Wordplay

I’m good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet… I don’t know why.

British comedian
Communication Wordplay

I used to be a plastic surgeon, which raised a few eyebrows.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Occupations Wordplay Work

Heckler: A guy who ribs you the wrong way.

Definitions Wordplay

Just seen the grave of the woman from My Fair Lady… it says ‘Here lies a Doolittle’.

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
Communication Wordplay

I believe in the right to arm bears.

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
Beliefs Opinion Wordplay

So this cowboy walks in to a German car showroom and he says "Audi!"

(1967 – ) English actor, writer & comedian
Miscellaneous Wordplay

Accordionated: Being able to drive and refold a road map at the same time.

Definitions Wordplay