Quotes and One Liners
humorous quotations, expressions, proverbs, headlines & more
Some Popular Authors
Alfred E. Neuman
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If he slices the budget like he slices a (golf) ball, the nation has nothing to worry about.
(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
President Dwight Eisenhower
Congress: A strange forum where people get up and speak, nobody listens, and then everyone disagrees at the top of their lungs.
The rich aren’t like us… they pay less taxes.
Peter De Vries
(1910 – 1993) editor & novelist
The President of today is just the postage stamp of tomorrow.
(1895 – 1964) comedian (wife & partner of George Burns)
Washington is a place where men praise courage and act on elaborate personal cost-benefit calculations.
John Kenneth Galbraith
(1908 – 2006) Canadian-American economist
In most places in the country, voting is looked upon as a right and a duty, but in Chicago it’s a sport.
(1932 – ) comedian, social activist, critic & writer
Democracy: The theory that common people know what they want and deserve to get it good and hard.
The best way to publicize a governmental or political action is to attempt to hide it.
Law of Secrecy
How come there's only one Monopolies Commission?
(1944 – ) English writer & broadcaster
The consensus seemed to be that if really large numbers of men were sent to storm the mountain, then enough might survive the rocks to take the citadel; this is essentially the basis of all military thinking.
(1948 – ) English novelist
Your honor, may I
All In the Family
Approach the bench
There is a
(1879 – 1974) film producer
If you haven’t seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven’t seen her smile her prettiest.
Frank ‘Kin’ Hubbard
(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
During an election campaign the air is full of speeches and vice versa.
(1838 – 1918) journalist, historian, academic & novelist
It's interesting to speculate how it developed that in two of the most anti-feminist institutions, the church and the law court, the men are wearing the dresses.
(1916 – 2000) American lawyer & activist
The waiters in France could all be senators in the U.S.
(1974 – ) American comedian
Injustice is relatively easy to bear, what stings is justice.
(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Politics is supposed to be the second-oldest profession… and I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
I don't believe I'll ever get credit for anything I do in foreign affairs, no matter how successful it is, because I didn't go to Harvard.
(1908 – 1973) 36th U.S. president
Office hours are from 12 to 1 with an hour off for lunch.
Of the U..S. Senate
Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings… and lawyers.
(1940 – 2005) comedian & movie actor
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