Subject: Government

Practical prayer is harder on the soles of your shoes than on the knees of your trousers.

(1858 – 1932) American physicist, physician & humorist

Go back to what our founders and our founding documents meant – they’re quite clear –- that we would create law based on the God of the Bible and the Ten Commandments.

(1964 – ) U.S. governor (Alaska) commentator & author

Ten thousand women marched through the streets of London saying 'we will not be dictated to,' and then went off to become stenographers.

(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist

Having committed political suicide, the Conservative Party is now living to regret it.

(1944 – ) British politician, chancellor of Oxford & governor of Hong Kong

I think it will be a clash between the political will and the administrative won’t.

(1943 – ) English film director, comedy writer & actor

I don't know a lot about politics, but I can recognize a good party man when I see one.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

When I got to the hospice I was under the impression it would be a two- or three-week stay, but here I still am, six weeks later, and I've gotten so well Medicare won't pay for me anymore.

(1925 – 2007) humorist & columnist

Diplomacy is the art of saying ‘Nice doggie’ until you can find a rock.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

Forever poised between a cliche and an indiscretion.

(1894 – 1986) British prime minister

The seriousness of a wound (in a firefight) is inversely proportional to the distance to any form of cover.

The combat worth of a unit is inversely proportional to the smartness of its outfit and appearance.

Despite his infirmities, Strom Thurmond showed up to work every day and did not miss a Senate vote in his final year, though no one is sure if a shouted “Bingo!” counted as a yea or a nay.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian

Senate: A body of elderly gentlemen charged with high duties and misdemeanors.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

Folks who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign.

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor

The scariest guy in prison is the white guy… because he's guilty.

American comedian

Some men are alive simply because it is against the law to kill them.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor

The best way to get a bad law repealed is to enforce it strictly.

(1809 – 1865) 16th U.S. president

Jury: A body of twelve men selected to decide which of the contestants has the better lawyer.

If you haven’t seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven’t seen her smile her prettiest.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist

Get re-elected.

You campaign in poetry, you govern in prose.

(1947 – ) U.S. Secretary of State, senator (New York) & first lady
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