Subject: Government

One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President.

(1908 – 1973) 36th U.S. president
Golf Government Politics President Sports

Doctors, dentists, and lawyers are only on time for appointments when you’re not.

Doctors Lawyers Murphy’s Laws

I believe that the government that governs best is a government that governs least, and by these standards we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq.

(1964 – ) comedian, political satirist, writer & television host
Government Places

In this country you’re guilty until proven wealthy.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
America Government Law Money Wealth

I always wanted to get into politics, but I was never light enough to make the team.

(1925 – 2007) humorist & columnist
Fat Government Politics

Legal: Used to mean lawful; now it means some kind of loophole.

Definitions Government Law

You campaign in poetry, you govern in prose.

(1947 – ) U.S. Secretary of State, senator (New York) & first lady
Elections/Voting Government

I heard Dennis Kucinich say in a debate, 'When I'm president… and I just wanted to stop him and say, 'Dude.'

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Government President

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Government

The best way to publicize a governmental or political action is to attempt to hide it.

Government Murphy’s Laws

Why should we tell kidnappers, murderers, and embezzlers their rights? … if they don’t know their rights, they shouldn’t be in the business.

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
Government Law

The case has been going on for so long that I've forgotten whether I'm really innocent or guilty.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Government Law

Get re-elected.

Elections/Voting Government Murphy’s Laws

In Washington, you can’t take friendship personally.

Government Politics Relationships

Having committed political suicide, the Conservative Party is now living to regret it.

(1944 – ) British politician, chancellor of Oxford & governor of Hong Kong
Government Politics

How can you govern a country that has 246 varieties of cheese?

(1890 – 1970) French president, general & statesman
Government Politics

Karen, I am a lawyer, which means, unlike you, I actually passed a bar.

(1963 – ) Canadian-American actor
Lawyers TV/Movie Quotes

All other things being equal, a bald man cannot be elected President of the United States.

Appearance Government Hair Murphy’s Laws President

90% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

Government Law Lawyers

If you maintain a consistent political position long enough, you'll eventually be accused of treason.

(1927 – ) Canadian-born American comedian & actor
Beliefs Government Politics

The Republicans have a new healthcare proposal: Just say NO to illness!

(1932 – ) American political satirist & comedian
Government Health