Subject: Government

The complexity of a weapon is inversely proportional to the IQ of the weapon's operator.

A bunch of bong-smoking, America-bashing, flag-burning, yoga-posing, incense-burning, dolphin-saving, salmon-eating hypocrites; these are the sensitive, liberal people who are always yelling about people's freedom of speech and expression, unless you happen to say something that pisses them off.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor

The House of Lords is like a glass of champagne that has stood for five days.

(1883 – 1967) British prime minister & politician

The enemy diversion you are ignoring is the main attack.

Liquor – you can make it illegal but you can't make it unpopular.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

I called my lawyer and said, ‘Can I ask you two questions?’ He said, ‘What’s the second question?

Senate: A body of elderly gentlemen charged with high duties and misdemeanors.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

I called the Census Bureau to see why they hadn't sent me a form, and they said that I was too nondescript to influence the demographics one way or another.

comedian

If you haven’t seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven’t seen her smile her prettiest.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist

The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist

Turkeys, Manure Pass Through the Senate

A diplomat these days is nothing, but a head waiter who is allowed to sit down occasionally.

(1921 – 2004) English actor & author

Democracy means that my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.

(1920 – 1992) American science and science fiction author & professor

People try to live within their income so they can afford to pay taxes to a government that can't live within its income.

businessman

The worst part about politics is that you're always right and no one ever knows it."

These guys from the nation's capital… now they do a lot of thinking.

(1949 – ) American boxing champion

I don't care if she doesn't know how to cook – so long as she doesn't know a good lawyer.

(1909 – 1959) Australian-born American actor

The first requirement of a statesman is that he be dull.


(1893 – 1971) American statesman & lawyer

America better beware of a candidate who is willing to stretch reality in order to win points.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president

The nation should have a tax system that looks like someone designed it on purpose.

(1927 – 2000) American businessman & Secretary of Treasury