Subject: Government

If he slices the budget like he slices a (golf) ball, the nation has nothing to worry about.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Congress: A strange forum where people get up and speak, nobody listens, and then everyone disagrees at the top of their lungs.

The rich aren’t like us… they pay less taxes.

(1910 – 1993) editor & novelist

The President of today is just the postage stamp of tomorrow.

(1895 – 1964) comedian (wife & partner of George Burns)

Washington is a place where men praise courage and act on elaborate personal cost-benefit calculations.

(1908 – 2006) Canadian-American economist

In most places in the country, voting is looked upon as a right and a duty, but in Chicago it’s a sport.

(1932 – ) comedian, social activist, critic & writer

Democracy: The theory that common people know what they want and deserve to get it good and hard.

The best way to publicize a governmental or political action is to attempt to hide it.

How come there's only one Monopolies Commission?

(1944 – ) English writer & broadcaster

The consensus seemed to be that if really large numbers of men were sent to storm the mountain, then enough might survive the rocks to take the citadel; this is essentially the basis of all military thinking.

(1948 – ) English novelist

Your honor, may I encroach the bench?

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

There is a statue of limitation.

(1879 – 1974) film producer

If you haven’t seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven’t seen her smile her prettiest.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist

During an election campaign the air is full of speeches and vice versa.

(1838 – 1918) journalist, historian, academic & novelist

It's interesting to speculate how it developed that in two of the most anti-feminist institutions, the church and the law court, the men are wearing the dresses.

(1916 – 2000) American lawyer & activist

The waiters in France could all be senators in the U.S.

(1974 – ) American comedian

Injustice is relatively easy to bear, what stings is justice.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

Politics is supposed to be the second-oldest profession… and I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor

I don't believe I'll ever get credit for anything I do in foreign affairs, no matter how successful it is, because I didn't go to Harvard.

(1908 – 1973) 36th U.S. president

Office hours are from 12 to 1 with an hour off for lunch.


Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings… and lawyers.

(1940 – 2005) comedian & movie actor
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