Subject: Places

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison.

(1903 – 1966) English writer

Space is almost infinite; as a matter of fact, we think it is infinite.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician

Canada is a country whose main exports are hockey players and cold fronts; our main imports are baseball players and acid rain.

(1919 – 2000) Canadian prime minister & politician

Ours is a world where people don't know what they want and are willing to go through hell to get it.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author

I do all my writing in bed; everybody knows I do my best work there.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

Of course they have, otherwise I wouldn't be sitting here talking to someone like you.

(1901 – 2000) English author

The man who has a girl in every port is not a sailor but a wholesaler.

(1899 – 1995) humorist

You gotta live somewhere.

(1948 – ) American stand-up comedian, writer & actor

Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom do the dishes.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist

You might be a redneck if… you’re banned from the Memphis Zoo because you disturb the monkeys.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

I've always tried to be a good American citizen, so I have made it a point not to learn any other language but English.

stand-up comedian

I come from New York where, if you fall down, someone will pick you up by your wallet.

(1928 – 2001) American basketball coach

I bought a new Japanese car, I turned on the radio… I don’t understand a word they’re saying.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

It is not a fragrant world.

(1888 – 1959) detective novelist & screenwriter

There is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

Ireland is a small but insuppressible island half an hour nearer the sunset than Great Britain.

(1880 – 1916) Irish economist, barrister, writer, soldier & politician

We’re not used to weather in June in this country.

professional football player, coach & executive

In any world menu, Canada must be considered the vichyssoise of nations – it's cold, half-French, and difficult to stir.

(1913 – 1987) Canadian journalist

Environmentalists say that every day an area the size of Wales is destroyed… why is it never Wales.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor

The definition of an atheist in Alabama is a person who doesn’t believe in Bear Bryant.

Georgia football coach
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