Subject: Problems (Page 24)

Most bosses never lift a finger at work, unless it’s to point out something you did wrong.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Mistakes Work

It is not enough to succeed, others must fail.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
Failure Success

If you are attempting the impossible, you will fail

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems

The degree of failure is in direct proportion to the effort expended and to the need for success.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems Success

If you mess with something long enough, it'll break.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Communication Failure Success Wordplay

Things go right so they can go wrong.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

Nothing is as inevitable as a mistake whose time has come.

Mistakes Murphy’s Laws Problems

Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.

Problems

Our meetings are held to discuss many problems which would never arise if we held fewer meetings.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Places Problems

I like an escalator because an escalator can never break, it can only become stairs.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Failure Problems Things

When the product is destined to fail, the delivery system will perform perfectly.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems

You can always hit what you don't aim at.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

Success can be insured only by devising a defense against failure of the contingency plan.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Success

Percussive Maintenance: Striking a recalcitrant piece of electronic hardware in order to facilitate a successful reboot, and repeating as necessary.

Definitions Failure Problems Things

Aren’t I lucky, to have survived so much bad luck.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Life Problems

All great discoveries are made by mistake

Corollary: The greater the funding, the longer it takes to make the mistake.

Mistakes Murphy’s Laws Problems

My life has been full of terrible misfortunes most of which never happened.

(1533 – 1592) French writer
Life Problems

A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success!

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Failure Friends Old People Success

If your action has a 50% possibility of being correct, you will be wrong 75% of the time.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

Confidence is what you have before you understand the problem.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Intelligence Problems Understanding