Subject: Activities (Page 2)

Fishing relaxes me. It’s like yoga, except I still get to kill something.

(1970 – ) American actor, writer & carpenter
Activities TV/Movie Quotes

All the years this guy did drugs, no one could have slipped him some calcium?

comedian
Activities Drugs Health

I reckoned if my boobs got any lower I would have to buy them their own pair of shoes.

(1959 – ) British novelist
Activities Appearance Body

I can whistle with my fingers, especially if I have a whistle.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Activities

Bus Driver: A person who tells people where to get off.

Activities Definitions Driving Occupations

There are plenty of good five cent cigars in the country… the trouble is they cost a quarter.

(1881 – 1960) American columnist
Activities Money

Here we have a game that combines the charm of a Pentagon briefing with the excitement of double-entry bookkeeping.

internet columnist
Activities Games

The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion or ethnic background, is that we all believe we are above-average drivers.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Autos Driving People Things

All bridge hands are equally likely, but some are more equally likely than others.

Activities Games Murphy’s Laws

If fishing is a religion, fly fishing is high church.

(1940 – ) American television journalist & author
Activities

They could have just had a massive pile of burning tires and more people would have turned up.

(1976 – ) English stand-up comedian & actor
Activities

I went to a record store, they said they specialized in hard-to-find records… nothing was alphabetized!

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Shopping Situations

I daydreamed that I was falling and, just before I hit the ground, I fell asleep.

comedian
Situations Sleep

I got a new shadow… I had to get rid of the other one… it wasn’t doing what I was doing.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Activities Things

Thank God we’re living in a country where the sky’s the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Activities Shopping

What do gardeners do when they retire?

(1928 – 2003) English entertainer
Activities

Bargain Hunter: One who is often led astray by false profits.

Activities Definitions Shopping

One night I was playing poker with tarot cards; I got a full house and four people died.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Activities Games People

Except that right-side-up is best, there is not much to learn about holding a baby.

(1918 – 2001) American sportswriter, commentator & actor
Children Family People Travel

Hot Potato is a very different game when the people playing are starving.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Activities Food/Drink Games

Bargain: anything a customer thinks a store is losing money on.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Money Shopping