Subject: Age (Page 11)

To what do I attribute my longevity? … bad luck.

(1908 – 1999) English writer
Age Old

Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up

Age Appearance Old Signs

Eighty is a wonderful age… especially if you’re ninety.

(1900 – 1973) American journalist & editor
Age Old

Robins: I've just written my 87th book.
Barbara Cartland: I've written 145.
Robins: Oh I see, one a year.

(1897 – 1985) British novelist
Age Insults Old

My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty, and that’s the law.

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Age Family Old Parents Places

Old Age: When you don’t recognize either the host or the musical guest on Saturday Night Live.

Age Definitions

Teenagers: People who get hungry again before the dishes are even washed.

Age Definitions

A man's only as old as the woman he feels.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Age Men Old People Sex Women

I was not a particularly small child; I was the one who always got picked to play Bethlehem in the school play.

(1957 – ) British stand-up comedian
Age Appearance Fat Self

I was born nine months premature.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comic
Age Situations Time

Middle Age: That period in life when your idea of getting ahead is staying even.

Age Definitions

I am pushing sixty… that is enough exercise for me.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Activities Age Exercise

People who say you're just as old as you feel are all wrong, fortunately.

(1925 – ) columnist & journalist
Age Health People

Maybe it’s true that life begins at fifty… but everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Age Life

Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous; when I was sixty-five, I still had pimples.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Age Work

When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked the guy, "Do you have any toy train schedules?"

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Age Young

I just need to make it to 34 and I’ve beaten Jesus at living.

(1975 – ) English comedian
Age

I'm getting so old my insurance company sends me 1/2 a calendar!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Age Old

Yesterday: The infancy of youth, the youth of manhood, the entire past of age.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Age Definitions Time Young

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Conflict Friends Killing People Young

I don't need drugs anymore, thank God; I can get the same effect just by standing up real fast.

(1946 – ) American comedian, actor & voice actor
Age Drugs Old