Subject: Age (Page 23)

The only good thing about [aging] is you’re not dead.

(1905 –1984) American playwright

I was born when my dad was 50; it’s weird growing up with a dad that much older than you… we’d go to the movies, we’re both getting discounts.

(1970 –) American stand-up comedian

She’ll never admit it, but I believe it is Mama.

(1917 – 2016) Hungarian-born American actress

If you want to recapture your youth, just cut off his allowance.

(1919 – 2006) American comedian & actor

I’m throwing as hard as I ever did, but the ball is just not getting there as fast.

(1908 – 1989) American baseball player

I was born when my dad was 50; it’s weird growing up with a dad that much older than you… we’d go to the movies and we’re both getting discounts.

(1970 –) American stand-up comedian

He’s 31 this year – last year he was 30.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator

I'd rather have two girls at 21 each than one girl at 42.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

The best years are the forties; after fifty a man begins to deteriorate, but in the forties he is at the maximum of his villainy.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

I have never known a person to live to be one hundred and be remarkable for anything else.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

You Are Old: Sobering Affirmations for Your Rapidly Disappearing Life

He is so old… he owes Jesus a quarter.

They told me my services were no longer desired because they wanted to put in a youth program as an advance way of keeping the club going; I'll never make the mistake of being seventy again.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager

Oh, to be seventy again.

(1841 – 1929) French statesman, physician & journalist

Nostalgia is heroin for old people.

(1972 – ) Irish comedian & television presenter

Retire? … I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

As you get older, the pickings get slimmer, but the people don't.

(1956 – ) author & movie actress

Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous; when I was sixty-five, I still had pimples.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

I've dated men my age, younger than me and older and the only difference is the young ones are quicker at taking out the garbage.

(1970 – ) American film & television actress

A three-year-old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor

Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking in a week or two he will feel as good as ever.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author