Subject: Appearance » Body (Page 8)

My wife is Hawaiian; well… no she’s not, but she’s shaped like a pineapple.

(1955 – ) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Body Wives

Yeah, she's beautiful, but you can't find her IQ with a flashlight.

Appearance Body Insults Intelligence

As you get older, the pickings get slimmer, but the people don't.

(1956 – ) author & movie actress
Age Appearance Body Old People

The best contraceptive for old people is nudity.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Appearance Body Clothing Signs

He is so fat… he can't even jump to a conclusion.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

You'll always feel good about your body when you go there – no matter what your body is – because there's always someone there who weighs 350 pounds more than you'll ever weigh.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Appearance Body Fat

I broke my arm trying to fold a bed… it wasn’t the kind that folds.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Body Things

1. Fat expands to fill any apparel worn.
2. A fat person walks in the middle of the hall.

Appearance Body Fat Murphy’s Laws

It's hard to feel fit as a fiddle when you're shaped like a cello.

American basketball coach & executive
Appearance Body People Self

Eunuch: A man who has had his works cut out for him.

(1930 – ) American author and billiard player, teacher & commentator
Body People

A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Body

Eunuch: One who is cut off from temptation.

Body Definitions

A bag of tattooed bones in a sequined slingshot.

Richard Blackwell (1922 – 2008) fashion critic, journalist, & designer
Appearance Body Clothing Insults

He should know better than that. He knows I only drink scotch.

Canadian professional hockey goalie
Body Hockey Sports

She’s so fat it takes two dogs to bark at her.

Appearance Body Expressions Fat

He is so fat… when his beeper goes off, people think he's backing up.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

I’d wring your neck… if you had one.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Appearance Body Insults

I knew a girl so ugly, I took her to the top of the Empire State building and planes started to attack her.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body Ugly

Men look at breasts the way women look at babies – 'Aw, isn't that lovely.'

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Appearance Body Men People

They say an actor is only as good as his parts; well, my parts have done me pretty well, darling.

(1937 – ) English actress
Acting Appearance Body Entertainment

Kiss and make up – but too much makeup has ruined many a kiss.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Appearance Body