Subject: Appearance » Fat (Page 3)

You know your girlfriend is getting fat when she can fit into your wife's clothes.

(1964 – ) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Body Fat Marriage

Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than the Chinese telephone directory.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Fat Insults

I thought to myself, join the army… it’s free; so I figured while I’m here I’ll lose a few pounds… I’m going to walk out of here a Lean, Mean, Fightin’ Machine!

(1950 – 1994) Canadian actor & comedian
Appearance Fat TV/Movie Quotes

If you can’t tell the difference between a spoon and a ladle, then you’re fat.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Appearance Body Fat

I’ve got a slight weight problem… I went to this doctor. Well, he told me I swallow a lot of aggression… along with a lot of pizzas!

(1950 – 1994) Canadian actor & comedian
Appearance Fat TV/Movie Quotes

I recently had my annual physical examination, which I get once every seven years, and when the nurse weighed me, I was shocked to discover how much stronger the Earth's gravitational pull has become since 1990.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Appearance Body Fat Health

She’s so fat she wears stretch kaftans.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Body Clothing Fat

I had a girlfriend that was so fat she wore a "Cross Your Thighs" bra.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Clothing Fat Girlfriends People

She is so fat… when she sits around the house, she sits around the house.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

I had a girlfriend that was so fat she had a dress with a sign on the back saying… Caution Wide Load.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body Clothing Fat Girlfriends People

Every time I breathe, they like, ‘Why you breathing so hard?'…So I can live!


Appearance Fat Self

He is so fat… in the summer he can sell shade.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

Little things start to change in your life — like your socks start to get tight.

(1953 – ) American comedian & actor
Appearance Body Fat

Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Age Appearance Body Fat

An optimist is a girl who mistakes a bulge for a curve.

(1885 – 1933) columnist & writer
Appearance Body Fat

She is so fat… when she was a kid she could only play seek.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

She’s so fat, she’s my two best friends.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Body Fat

Edible underwear?… even during sex, we can't stop eating.

(1965 – 2010) American stand-up comedian & television personality
Eating Fat Food/Drink Sex

1. Fat expands to fill any apparel worn.
2. A fat person walks in the middle of the hall.

Appearance Body Fat Murphy’s Laws

Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out; but I can usually shut her up with cookies.

singer & musician
Appearance Body Fat Food/Drink

He is so fat… when he steps on a scale, it reads "one at a time, please."

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat