Subject: Appearance » Fat (Page 5)

She is so fat… when she was a kid she could only play seek.

I recently had my annual physical examination, which I get once every seven years, and when the nurse weighed me, I was shocked to discover how much stronger the Earth's gravitational pull has become since 1990.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist

He is so fat… he had his own area code.

She is so fat… when she turns around, people throw her a welcome back party.

I hate thin people; “Oh, does the tampon make me look fat?”

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

I ain’t afraid to die fat… that’s my pallbearers’ worry.


Obesity: A surplus gone to waist.

I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Every time I breathe, they like, ‘Why you breathing so hard?'…So I can live!


He is so fat… his high school graduation picture was an aerial photograph.

It's a good thing Babe Ruth isn't still with the Yankees. If he was, George Steinbrenner would have him bat seventh and say he's overweight.

American baseball player

Lord, if I can't be skinny, please let all my friends be fat.

(1936 – 2005) Irish comedian

As a matter of fact, I'm glad my skin is dark, because if I was a white girl, I would look 10 pounds heavier.

(1971 – ) American comedian & actress

She is so fat… when she takes a shower her feet don't get wet.

Square meals often make round people.

American entrepreneur & author

An ounce of sequins can be worth a pound of home cooking.

(1946 – ) American magazine columnist, author, lecturer & playwright

One out of every three Americans… weighs as much as the other two.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor

He is so fat… when his beeper goes off, people think he's backing up.

Is that your wife? … Oh, well, keep your chin up.

(1926 – 2017) American stand-up comedian & actor

She’s so fat, she’s my two best friends.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

1. Fat expands to fill any apparel worn.
2. A fat person walks in the middle of the hall.