Subject: Appearance (Page 45)

I love the idea of there being two sexes, don't you?

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Appearance Body Science/Weather

Some days even my lucky rocketship underpants won’t help.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Clothing Life Miscellaneous

Smile, it enhances your face value.

(1946 – ) singer, songwriter, author & actress
Appearance TV/Movie Quotes

The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.

Clothing Government Military Murphy’s Laws

The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.

Body Cold Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Situations

I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion rules, including: both of your socks should always be the same color, or they should at least both be fairly dark.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Appearance Clothing Men People

I’m not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb… and I also know that I’m not blonde.

(1946 – ) singer, songwriter, author & actress
Appearance Characteristics Intelligence

Yes, darling, let me cover your face with kisses, on second thought, just let me cover your face.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Appearance Insults

Women’s styles may change, but their designs remain the same.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Appearance Clothing People Women

Oh my God, look at you; anyone else hurt in the accident?

(1926 – 2017) American stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Insults

He was a solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Appearance Insults

He is so short… he poses for trophies.

Appearance Body Exaggerations

Barbara Walters is said to sleep standing so that the silicone won't move.

(1936 – ) Greek-born journalist & writer
Appearance Insults

The same dress is indecent ten years before its time; daring one year before its time; chic in its time; dowdy five years after its time; hideous twenty years after its time; amusing thirty years after its time; romantic one hundred years after its time; beautiful one hundred and fifty years after its time.

(1899 – 1975) English fashion designer & critic
Appearance Clothing

Guys – if your pants are below your ass you have no right to accuse any lady of dressing slutty.

(1978 – ) American actress, writer & comedian
Appearance Clothing

I knew a girl so ugly, I took her to the top of the Empire State building and planes started to attack her.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body Ugly

I don't wear a watch because I want my arms to weigh the same.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Body Things

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Body Food/Drink

I'm just a person trapped in a woman's body.

(1952 – ) comedian
Body People Self Women

Charm: That indefinable something possessed by girls with stunning figures.

Appearance Definitions

I keep trying to lose weight… but it keeps finding me.

Appearance Body Fat