Subject: Appearance (Page 5)

I buy a dress because I need change for gum.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Activities Clothing Shopping

A lady is one who never shows her underwear… unintentionally.

(1893 – 1991) novelist, biographer & playwright
Appearance Characteristics Clothing

I never put on a pair of shoes until I’ve worn them at least five years.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Appearance Clothing Misspokements Time

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Appearance Body Women

If that dress had pockets, you’d look like a pool table.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Clothing TV/Movie Quotes

He looks like a dwarf who’s been dipped in a bucket of pubic hair.

George Alan O'Dowd (1961 – ) British singer-songwriter
Appearance Insults

He is so ugly… when he throws a boomerang it won’t come back.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

You know you're getting old when you start to dress in more than six colors.

(1936 – 2014) American standup comedian, actor & author
Age Appearance Clothing Old

It's like I disprove evolution and intelligent design at once.

(1978 – ) American comic writer
Appearance Body People Science/Weather Self

Crying is the refuge of plain women, but the ruin of pretty ones.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Appearance People Women

I had a woman come up to me at the airport and say, “I don’t mean to insult you, but you look like Bobcat Goldthwait.”

(1962 – ) comedian, actor, voice actor, screenwriter, & film & television director
Appearance People Self

Some people say George Foreman is fit as a fiddle, but I think he looks more like a cello.

(1922 – ) boxing trainer & manager
Appearance Body Boxing Sports

Aunt Esther: My body was blessed by Mother Nature, honey.

Fred: And as you got older, it was cursed by Father Time.

(1922 – 1991) American comedian
Appearance TV/Movie Quotes Ugly

If I look confused it is because I am thinking.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Appearance Intelligence Misspokements Speech Thinking

How easy for those who do not bulge to not overindulge!

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Appearance Body Eating Food/Drink People

Esther Clavin: The last thing I want to see is my son’s face on the 11 o’clock news.

Carla: There’s an entire city that agrees with you.

(1947 – ) American actor & entrepreneur
Appearance TV/Movie Quotes

I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I’d look like without plastic surgery.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Body

A dress that zips up the back will bring a husband and wife together.

(1925 – 2010) American humorist & writer
Appearance Clothing Marriage

Your hair is already such a disaster that the Red Cross wouldn’t give it coffee.

(1958 – ) American actress & singer
Appearance Hair TV/Movie Quotes

If you ever thought you were ugly, Los Angeles is the place to come and find out you were right.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Places

She is so fat… she laid on the beach and people tried to push her back into the ocean.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat