Subject: Appearance (Page 5)

Change of fashion is the tax levied by the industry of the poor on the vanity of the rich.

(1741 – 1794) French writer
Appearance Money

I think they have to take this bunch down to the slaughterhouse to get weighed.

American football coach
Appearance Football Sports

I sometimes close my eyes during a show because I have drawn a picture of an audience enjoying the show more on the back of my eyelids.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Situations

I kept thinking, if his face was that wrinkled, what did his balls look like?

(1937 – ) English painter, printmaker, stage designer & photographer
Appearance

We all get heavier as we get older because there’s a lot more information in our heads.

professional basketball player
Age Body Intelligence Misspokements Sports

With four sisters about the house, I could never get my hands on a comb.

American boxing champion
Appearance Boxing Hair Sports

He's as big as a gorilla and as strong as a gorilla; if he was as smart as a gorilla he'd be fine.

college football coach
Animals Appearance Body Insults Intelligence

If women dressed for men, the stores wouldn't sell much – just an occasional sun visor.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Appearance Clothing Men People Shopping Women

My body has no sexual meaning anymore, so if I can make people laugh with it, at least it's being used.

Louis Szekely (1967 – ) American comedian, writer, actor & director
Acting Appearance Body Entertainment

Toupée: Top secret.

Appearance Definitions Hair

It's like I disprove evolution and intelligent design at once.

(1978 – ) American comic writer
Appearance Body People Science/Weather Self

Penis: The male organ used to write one’s name in snow.

Body Definitions Men

A plastic surgeon increases your face value.

Appearance

I'm in terrible shape… I need a nap after I fart.

(1965 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Appearance Body

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Body Food/Drink

Men still die with their boots on, but usually one boot is on the accelerator.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
Accidents Autos Clothing Death Problems

Clothes and manners do not make the man; but, when he is made, they greatly improve his appearance.

(1813 – 1887) American clergyman, social reformer & abolitionist
Appearance Clothing

The sane appear as strange to the mad as the mad to the sane.

(1933 – 1967) English playwright
Appearance Intelligence

Sarong: A simple garment carrying the implicit promise that it will not long stay in place.

Appearance Clothing Definitions

Girdle: The difference between fact and figure.

Appearance Body Clothing Definitions

Fishing is a delusion entirely surrounded by liars in old clothes.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Activities Beliefs Characteristics Clothing Lies Sports