Subject: Beliefs (Page 19)

GOD Talks 2 U? There Is Medication For That.

Beliefs God

Those who say truth is stranger than fiction have wasted their time on poorly written fiction.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Books Characteristics Communication Reading/Writing Truth

I find that a duck’s opinion of me is heavily influenced by whether or not I have bread.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Animals Beliefs Food/Drink Opinion

In England there are sixty different religions and only one sauce.

(1563 – 1608) Italian Catholic priest
Beliefs Cooking England Food/Drink Places Religion

Nobody outside of a baby carriage or a judge’s chamber believes in an unprejudiced point of view.

(1905 –1984) American playwright
Beliefs Opinion

Religion is just what we thought before we understood what mental illness was.

(1972 – ) Scottish comedian
Beliefs Religion

Conservative: A liberal who has just been mugged.

Beliefs Definitions

I want everyone to tell me the truth, even if it costs him his job.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Characteristics Honesty Truth Work

You can always tell when a man’s well-informed… his views are pretty much like yours.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Beliefs Intelligence

Any facts which, when included in the argument, give the desired result, are fair facts for the argument.

Beliefs Facts Murphy’s Laws

What's right is what's left when everything is wrong.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Beliefs Language Opinion

Always behave as if nothing had happened, no matter what has happened.

1867 – 1931) English novelist
Beliefs Situations

Pray, pray very much; but beware of telling god what you want.

Beliefs God Proverbs

The louder he talked of his honor, the faster we counted our spoons.

(1803 – 1882) essayist, poet, & philosopher
Characteristics Honesty

The only thing wrong with being an atheist is that there's nobody to talk to during an orgasm.

Beliefs God Sex

I do not mind lying, but I hate inaccuracy.

(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist
Characteristics Honesty Lies

We have a whole religion based on a woman who really stuck to her story.

(1965 – 2010) American stand-up comedian & television personality
Beliefs Religion

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.

Activities Autos Beliefs Problems Proverbs Travel

Satan: The scarecrow in the religious cornfield.

Beliefs Definitions Religion

Practical politics consists in ignoring facts.

(1838 – 1918) journalist, historian, academic & novelist
Beliefs Facts Government Politics

Do I believe in God? … Let’s say we have a working relationship.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Beliefs God