Subject: Beliefs (Page 19)

It is a curious thing… that every creed promises a paradise which will be absolutely uninhabitable for anyone of civilized taste.

(1903 – 1966) English writer
Beliefs Religion

He lies so bad he hires somebody to call his dogs.

Characteristics Expressions Honesty Lies

Honor thy parents. That’s one of the Lord’s Top 10 Commandments. That’s right around covetin’ your neighbor’s cattles and wives and there.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Beliefs Misspokements Religion TV/Movie Quotes

Speak the truth, but leave immediately after.

Beliefs Honesty Proverbs Truth

If God Loves Me, Why Can’t I Get My Locker Open?

Beliefs Book Titles God

My Opinions Change With New Information

Beliefs Opinion Signs

Making a speech on economics is a lot like pissing down your leg; it seems hot to you, but it never does to anyone else.

(1908 – 1973) 36th U.S. president
Beliefs Communication Opinion Speech

Self-evident: Evident to one's self and to nobody else.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Beliefs Definitions

If enough data is collected, anything may be proven by statistical methods.

Beliefs Facts Intelligence Murphy’s Laws

Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.

(1945 – 2010) American comedian & actor
Characteristics Honesty Intelligence

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

Beliefs Mistakes Murphy’s Laws Proverbs

I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Beliefs Communication

I don’t believe in sceptics.

British writer, actor, comic & television & radio presenter
Beliefs People

Truth is a rare and precious commodity; we must be sparing in its use.

(1846 – 1932) British journalist, publisher & politician
Beliefs Honesty Truth

The truth may be out there, but the lies are inside your head.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Characteristics Honesty Intelligence Truth

Every scientific truth goes through three states: first, people say it conflicts with the Bible; next, they say it has been discovered before; lastly, they say they always believed it.

(1807 – 1873) paleontologist, glaciologist & geologist
Beliefs Facts Science/Weather

The only way a reporter should look at a politician is down.

Government Murphy’s Laws Opinion Politicians

Man was predestined to have free will.

Beliefs Wordplay

To err is human; to admit it, superhuman.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Characteristics Honesty Mistakes Problems

USA Today has come out with a new survey; apparently, three out of every four people make up 75% of the population.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
Facts People Science/Weather

First night, you get socks; second night, an eraser, a notebook – it’s a back to school holiday.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Beliefs Religion Situations