Subject: Beliefs (Page 26)

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Appearance Beliefs Characteristics

History is a pack of lies we play on the dead.

(1694 – 1778) French author, humanist & satirist
History Lies Time

We know what happens to people who stay in the middle of the road; they get run over.

(1897 – 1960) Welsh labor leader & politician
Accidents Beliefs Opinion Problems

I wouldn’t speak to her if I met her in hell and she was carrying ice.

Expressions Insults Opinion

Good Advice: What a man gives when he gets too old to set a bad example.

Beliefs Definitions Opinion

Let my people go!

(1927 – ) Canadian-born American comedian & actor
Beliefs Religion

The Book of Life begins with a man and a woman in a garden… it ends with Revelations.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Beliefs Books Communication

A conservative is a fellow who thinks a rich man should have a square deal.

(1902 – 1963) Danish actor
Beliefs

Here's some advice for you guys: never hire a clown named Molesto.

stand-up comedian
Beliefs

I'm still an atheist, thank God.

(1900 – 1983) Spanish filmmaker
Beliefs Religion Wordplay

Half the lies they tell about me aren’t true.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Lies Yogi-isms

Ridiculous stereotypes often make people very ignorant towards other nationalities. For example, I’m in good shape, intelligent, and I don’t have sex with my cousins, and yet still people assume I’m American.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Beliefs People Religion

B’nai Briss

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Beliefs Malaprops Religion

I think of the church often; not because religion was closing in on me, but because for a long time my ass was sore from that hard, unupholstered pew.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Beliefs Religion

Critics are like eunuchs in a harem; they know how it’s done, they’ve seen it done every day, but they’re unable to do it themselves.

(1923 – 1964) Irish poet, short story writer, novelist & playwright
Beliefs Entertainment Opinion

People will believe anything if you whisper it.

Beliefs Communication Murphy’s Laws

The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously.

(1911 – 1978) U.S. vice president & politician
Communication Intelligence Opinion

If Attila the Hun were alive today, he’d be a drama critic.

(1928 – ) playwright
Beliefs Opinion

The correct advice to give is the advice that is desired.

Murphy’s Laws Opinion

I definitely want Brooklyn [his daughter] to be Christened, but I don't know into what religion yet.

professional football player
Beliefs Misspokements Religion

God was left out of the Constitution but was furnished a front seat on the coins of the country.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs God