Subject: Beliefs (Page 28)

Golf… is the infallible test; the man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge that only God is watching him, and play his ball where it lies, is the man who will serve you faithfully and well.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Golf Honesty Sports

Raise him a Luferan if you want, raise him a Norman with 7 wives, a holy roller, a Seventh Day Adventurer…

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops Religion

Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Characteristics Husbands Marriage Time Truth Wives

There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.

Characteristics Honesty Lies Science/Weather

There are no atheists in foxholes.

(1828-1882) English poet, illustrator, painter & translator
Beliefs God

I have noticed even people who claim everything is predestined, and that we can do nothing to change it, look before they cross the road.

(1942 – 2018) English physicist
Beliefs Life People

Lady Astor to Churchill: ‘Sir you’re drunk!’

Churchill’s reply: Yes, madam, I am drunk, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Appearance Beliefs Opinion

After you've heard two eyewitness accounts of an automobile accident, you begin to worry about history.

(1953 – ) comedian & actor
Accidents Autos History Time Truth

Droughts are because God didn’t pay his water bill.


God

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

Beliefs Mistakes Murphy’s Laws Proverbs

There are more fish taken out of a stream than ever were in it.

(1863 – 1935) British-born American writer, artist & illustrator
Activities Beliefs Honesty Lies

Nobody outside of a baby carriage or a judge’s chamber believes in an unprejudiced point of view.

(1905 –1984) American playwright
Beliefs Opinion

I took a test in Existentialism; I left all the answers blank and got 100.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Beliefs

Liberal: Someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money.

Beliefs Characteristics Definitions

There are more acres of forestland in America today than when Columbus discovered the continent in 1492.

(1951 – ) American conservative radio talk-show host
Lies Places Stupidity

There are some people so addicted to exaggeration that they can’t tell the truth without lying.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Characteristics Honesty Lies

I don't want someone shoving his views down my throat, unless they're covered in a crunchy candy shell.

(1964 – ) comedian, political satirist, writer & television host
Beliefs Food/Drink Opinion

It's great to be with Bill Buckley because you don't have to think; he takes a position and you automatically take the opposite and you know you are right.

(1908 – 2006) Canadian-American economist
Beliefs Insults Opinion

The opposite for courage is not cowardice, it is conformity… even a dead fish can go with the flow.

(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author
Beliefs Characteristics

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn’t go away.

(1928 – 1982) American novelist, short story writer & essayist
Beliefs Life Truth

We are born naked, wet, and hungry; then things get worse.

Beliefs Murphy’s Laws