Subject: Beliefs (Page 36)

The difference between God and the historians consists above all in the fact that God cannot alter the past.

(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist
Beliefs God History Time

If you are going to tell people the truth, be funny or they will kill you.

(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer
Communication Honesty Killing Truth

The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Characteristics Entertainment Opinion

Isn’t it strange that the same people who laugh at gypsy fortune-tellers take economists seriously.

Beliefs

A cynic is a person searching for an honest man, with a stolen lantern.


Beliefs Characteristics Honesty People

People will believe anything if you whisper it.

Beliefs Communication Murphy’s Laws

By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Characteristics Communication Language Truth

‘Blessed is the man who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed’ was the ninth beatitude.

(1688 – 1744) English poet
Beliefs

A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Characteristics Honesty

If God had wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Beliefs Elections/Voting God Government

One should never trust a woman who tells one her real age.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Age Characteristics Honesty People Truth Women

I am determined that my children shall be brought up in their father’s religion, if they can find out what it is.

(1775 – 1834) English critic & essayist
Beliefs Family Fathers Religion

Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Beliefs

The difference between reality and unreality is that reality has so little to recommend it.

(1924 – 1973) American comic
Beliefs Truth

As long as we are lucky we attribute it to our smartness; our bad luck we give the gods credit for.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
God Intelligence Wisdom

Don’t be discouraged if your children reject your advice; years later they will offer it to their offspring.

Beliefs Children Family Opinion

Nature will tell you a direct lie if she can.

Lies Murphy’s Laws

A critic is someone who never actually goes to the battle, yet who afterwards comes out shooting the wounded.

(1946 – ) American stage & screen actress
Beliefs Communication Occupations Work

He's so honest you can shoot dice with him on the telephone.

(1931 – ) television newscaster
Characteristics Honesty

The worst waste of breath, next to playing a saxophone, is advising a son.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Beliefs Children Family Opinion

Every day, people are straying away from the Church and going back to God.

(1923 – 1966) stand-up comedian, writer, social critic & satirist
Beliefs God Religion