Subject: Characteristics (Page 25)

An easily understood, workable falsehood is more useful than a complex, incomprehensible truth.

Characteristics Honesty Intelligence Lies Murphy’s Laws Truth

I'm not Mother Teresa. But I'm also not Charles Manson.

(1966 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Characteristics Sports

I prefer rogues to imbeciles because they sometimes take a rest.

(1824 – 1895) French writer
Characteristics Fools Intelligence

Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Characteristics Health Situations

Blessed is he who expects no gratitude, for he shall not be disappointed.

American clergyman
Characteristics

I was such a nerd in high school, I didn't even have imaginary friends, I had imaginary bullies.

(1966 – ) American actor, musician & comedian
Characteristics People Self

Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Characteristics Fear

Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain—and most fools do.

(1888 – 1955) American writer, lecturer & developer of self-improvement skills
Characteristics Communication Fools Intelligence

Deep down, I'm pretty superficial.

(1922 – 1990) American actress
Characteristics Misspokements

They say Flintstone's vitamins are chewable; all vitamins are chewable, it's just that they taste shitty.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Characteristics Food/Drink

It’s better to be black than gay because when you’re black you don’t have to tell your mother.

comedian, composer & lyricist
Appearance Characteristics Mothers

Associate with well-mannered persons and your manners will improve; run with decent folk and your own decent instincts will be strengthened; keep the company of bums and you will become a bum; hang around with rich people and you will end by picking up the check and dying broke.

Characteristics Money Murphy’s Laws People

Graceland is so tacky, Puerto Rican people walk out of there going, 'That's some tacky stuff there, man.'

American comedian & author
Characteristics Places

I find that the further I go back, the better things were, whether they happened or not.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics Past Situations Truth

All generalizations are false.

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws

In all recorded history there has not been one economist who has had to worry about where the next meal would come from.

(1909 – 2005) management writer
Characteristics Food/Drink People

The ladies looked one another over with microscopic carelessness.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Characteristics Situations

If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out.

(1897 – 1976) American novelist, short story & sports writer
Characteristics Golf Sports

I used to be a narrator for bad mimes.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Characteristics Entertainment

Optimist: A middle-aged man who believes that the cleaners have been shrinking the waistband of his pants.

Body Characteristics Definitions People

You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not 'professional' any more.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Characteristics Situations Work