Subject: Characteristics (Page 40)

My wife says I’m unsophisticated and uncultured, so to prove her wrong, guess where I’m taking her… hint: It starts with “B” and rhymes with “wallet.”

Characteristics Wordplay

Super-competence is more objectionable than incompetence.

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws Problems

Pessimism: A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Communication Definitions Language

In order to make a man or boy covet a thing, it is only necessary to make the thing difficult to attain.

Characteristics Men People Situations

If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Characteristics Situations

The secret of charm is bullshit.

(1914 – 1958) American actor
Characteristics

You can’t trust water: even a straight stick turns crooked in it.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Characteristics Things

There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.

Characteristics Honesty Lies Science/Weather

He is the kind of man who would cut down a redwood tree and then mount the stump to make a speech for conservation.

(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician
Characteristics Insults

I was going to buy a copy of The Power of Positive Thinking, and then I thought: What the hell good would that do?

comedian
Books Characteristics Communication Reading/Writing

Ronald Reagan is not a typical politician because he doesn't know how to lie, cheat, and steal; he's always had an agent do that.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Characteristics Honesty People Politics

For every credibility gap there is a gullibility fill.

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws

If God doesn't destroy Hollywood Boulevard, he owes Sodom and Gomorrah an apology.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Beliefs Characteristics God

Fanaticism consists in redoubling your effort when you have forgotten your aim.

(1863 – 1952) Spanish American philosopher, essayist, poet & novelist
Characteristics Intelligence

A set of rules laid out by professionals to show the way they would like to act if it was profitable.

(1902 – 1963) Danish actor
Characteristics Money

Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner.

(1952 – 2001) English writer, dramatist, & musician
Characteristics Eating Food/Drink People

The supreme irony of life is that hardly anyone gets out of it alive.

(1907 – 1988) science fiction author
Characteristics Death Life

In 1969 I published a small book on Humility; it was a pioneering work which has not, to my knowledge, been superseded.


Characteristics

My dentist found a new way to cover up his bad breath… he holds up his arms

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Characteristics Health

Deep down, I'm pretty superficial.

(1922 – 1990) American actress
Characteristics Misspokements

Men are pigs; too bad we own everything.

(1953 – ) comedian & actor
Characteristics Men People