Subject: Communication » Language (Page 4)

Apologize: To lay the foundation for a future offence.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Eulogy: Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Men get laid, but women get screwed.

(1908 – 1999) English writer
Language Men People Sex Women

Absurdity: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Opinion

Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial “we.”

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication Language

Like most comics, I just broke up with my girlfriend… the reason we broke up is because I caught her lying – under another man.

(1964 – ) American stand-up comedian
Girlfriends Language Relationships Sex

I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn’t study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Communication Language Misspokements Places

Alas: Early Victorian for, “Oh, Hell.”

Communication Definitions Language

Let me ask you… would crack be so bad, and would people think so harshly of crack, if it were called 'crackle'?

(1968 – ) American actor & comedian
Activities Communication Drugs Language

Cabbage: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
America Intelligence Language Military Places

My teacher used to say I wasn't very observant… to be honest, that was her opinion.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language

The president of France said that the English are arrogant with their refusal to learn foreign languages; at least, I think that’s what he said… it all just sounded like “haw-he-haw-he-haw-he-haw.”

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
Communication England Language Places

Status quo, you know, that is Latin for the mess we’re in.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Communication Language Misspokements Problems Speech

When the Iraq war started … little did George Bush know.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Conflict Intelligence Language

It's a damn poor mind that can only think of one way to spell a word.

(1767 – 1845) 7th U.S. president
Communication Language Reading/Writing

The words “don't" and “isn’t” are contraptions.

Communication Language Malaprops

My goal in life is to open up a nail salon in Vietnam, where all my workers speak nothing but English.

American-Mexican stand-up comedian & actress
Communication Language Places

Women speak two languages – one of which is verbal.

(1564 – 1616) English dramatist & poet
Communication Language People Women

I married way too young… she was Chinese.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language

A writer mustn’t shift your point of view.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing