Subject: Communication (Page 12)

The first coherent line ever spoken was ‘I have no idea what you’re talking about.’

(1962 – ) English stand-up comedian & actor
Communication Intelligence Speech Understanding

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Communication Language

During an election campaign the air is full of speeches and vice versa.

(1838 – 1918) journalist, historian, academic & novelist
Communication Elections/Voting Government Speech

Yes, so it does.

(1869 – 1931) American politician
Miscellaneous Wordplay

You won't find a single four-letter word in there… I don't go for that bullshit.

(1918 – ) American baseball pitcher
Baseball Books Communication Sports

The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication Language Time

Americans don't really understand what's going on in Bosnia; to them it's the unspellables killing the unpronouncables.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Communication Language Places

Beware of and eschew pompous prolixity.

Communication Language Lawyers

Cynic: A man who sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

If you steal from one author it’s plagiarism; if you steal from many it’s research.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

A simple story, however inaccurate or misleading, is preferred to a complicated explanation, however true.

Communication Murphy’s Laws

The psychiatrist’s office is where you say what you think and be told what you mean.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Communication Doctors Health

Don’t make a long story short just so you can tell another one.

Communication Conversation Speech

An autobiography is an obituary in serial form with the last installment missing.

(1908 – 1999) English writer
Books Communication Reading/Writing

If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Communication Failure Success Wordplay

A stupid man's report of what a clever man says is never accurate because he unconsciously translates what he hears into something he can understand.

(1872 – 1970) British philosopher, mathematician, historian & social critic
Communication Intelligence Stupidity Wisdom

One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Communication People Speech

My piñata costume was a hit with the crowd

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

Hello!… we heard you at the door, but just thought you were part of the bad weather.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Communication People

Three hours a day will produce as much as a man ought to write.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing Time

The road to hell is paved with adverbs.

Communication Reading/Writing