Subject: Communication (Page 34)

Ordering a man to write a poem is like commanding a pregnant woman to give birth to a red-headed child.

Carl Sandburg (1878 – 1967) biographer & poet
Communication Men People Reading/Writing Women

Quadruplets: Four crying out loud.

Children Definitions Wordplay

All Englishmen talk as if they’ve got a bushel of plums stuck in their throats, and then after swallowing them get constipated from the pips.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
England Insults Places Speech

If I had known the difference between the words 'antidote' and 'anecdote,' one of my good friends would still be living.

comedian
Communication Death Health Language

Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Communication Reading/Writing

If that kid don't stop talkin' so much he'll get his tongue sunburned.

cartoon character (Mel Blanc)
Speech TV/Movie Quotes

No one ever committed suicide while reading a good book, but many have tried while trying to write one.

(1930 – ) American author and billiard player, teacher & commentator
Books Communication Reading/Writing

Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Communication Intelligence Understanding

When I can’t sleep, I read a book by Steve Allen.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Books Insults Reading/Writing Situations

The crucial memorandum will be snared in the out-basket by the paper clip of the overlying correspondence and go to file.

Communication Murphy’s Laws

He would stab his best friend for the sake of writing an epigram on his tombstone.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Insults Reading/Writing

Book: What they make a movie out of for television.

(1904 – 1974) American author & radio producer
Books Communication Definitions

Advertising is 85% confusion and 15% commission.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Characteristics Communication Money

I wrote my friend a letter using a highlighting pen but he could not read it, he thought I was just trying to show him certain parts of a piece of paper.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Communication Reading/Writing

At a dinner party one should eat wisely but not too well, and talk well but not too wisely.

(1874 – 1965) English dramatist & novelist
Communication Conversation Speech

The wise man has long ears and a short tongue.

Communication Proverbs Speech

I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

Matrimony: The splice of life.

Definitions Marriage Wordplay

Swearing was invented as a compromise between running away and fighting.

(1867 – 1936) author & humorist
Communication Language

When I give a lecture, I accept that people look at their watches, but what I do not tolerate is when they look at it and raise it to their ear to find out if it stopped.

(1899 – 1974) French screenwriter, teacher & journalist
Communication Situations Speech Time