Subject: Communication (Page 5)

Writing is turning one’s worst moments into money.

(1926 – ) Irish American novelist & playwright
Communication Reading/Writing

Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it.

(1911 – 1980) humorist, writer, television host & journalist
Communication Intelligence Speech

My aunt used to say, ‘What you can’t see, can’t hurt you’… well, she died of radiation poisoning a few months back.

(1964 – ) English comedian, author & television presenter
Communication

I don't speak Chinese, but I figure if I try, I've got to be saying something.

(1962 – ) Canadian-American actor, comedian, author & radio personality
Baseball Communication Language

If I look confused it is because I am thinking.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Appearance Intelligence Misspokements Speech Thinking

Urinal: The one place where all men are peers.

Definitions Wordplay

Anything in parentheses can be ignored.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

Farmer: A handy man with a sense of humus.

Definitions Wordplay

Everything I’ve ever said will be credited to Dorothy Parker.

(1889 – 1961) Am. playwright, theater director & producer & humorist
Communication

Sex is better than talk… talk is what you suffer through so you can get to sex.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Communication Conversation Sex Speech

I am a man of my word… and that word is “unreliable.”

(1973 – ) American comedian
Communication Language Self

There's no sense in being precise when you don't even know what you're talking about.

(1903 – 1957) Hungarian-American mathematician
Communication Intelligence Speech

When the American people get through with the English language, it will look as if it had been run over by a musical comedy.

(1867 – 1936) author & humorist
America Communication Language Places

I talk to myself a lot; that bothers some people because I use a megaphone.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication

Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.

(1918 – 2002) Irish comedian, writer, musician, poet & playwright
Sex Wordplay

Every book is a children's book if the kid can read.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Books Children Reading/Writing

Nobody kicks on being interrupted if it's by applause.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Communication Speech

If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all, Creep.

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist
Communication

Trying to squash a rumor is like trying to unring a bell.

(1925 – 2005) American journalist
Communication

That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.

(1952 – ) American writer & comedian
Communication Emotions Entertainment Laughter

Oscar night at my house is called Passover.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Communication Wordplay