Subject: Communication (Page 54)

When dangling, don't use participles.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

Sex is better than talk… talk is what you suffer through so you can get to sex.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Communication Conversation Sex Speech

They told me how Mr Gladstone read Homer for fun, which I thought served him right.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Characteristics Insults Reading/Writing

If a man says, "I'll call you," and he doesn't, he didn't forget, he didn't lose your number, he didn't die… he just didn't want to call you.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Communication Men People

People everywhere confuse what they read in newspapers with news.

(1904 – 1963) American journalist
Beliefs Communication Facts Reading/Writing

The big advantage of a book is it's very easy to rewind; close it and you're right back at the beginning.

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Books Communication Reading/Writing

Do people in Australia, call the rest of the world, "Up Over"?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language Places Speech

The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Alcohol Communication People

She was a bilingual illiterate… she couldn't read in two different languages.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language Reading/Writing

Censor: A man who knows more than he thinks you ought to.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Communication Definitions Language

You're looking at a very proud Canadian who is very proud of the educational system in Canadia…

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Canada Communication Education Learning Places Reading/Writing

Teachers: United Mind Workers.

Definitions Education Wordplay

She takes everything I say out of contest.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Communication Malaprops

I think Nancy does most of his talking; you'll notice that she never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Communication Insults Speech

It was a dark and stormy night…

(1803 – 1873) English writer
Communication Reading/Writing

Watch out for irregular verbs which has cropped up into our language.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

France lost a great novel last night.

(1802 – 1885) French writer
Communication Reading/Writing

If you can’t explain what you’re doing in simple English, you are probably doing something wrong.

Communication Intelligence Language Murphy’s Laws

Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by spontaneously moving from where you left them to where you can't find them.

Communication Murphy’s Laws

If most people said what’s on their minds, they’d be speechless.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Communication Intelligence Mind Speech

Diagnosis: A physician's forecast of the disease by the patient's pulse and purse.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Health Language Money