Subject: Communication (Page 81)

Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.

Characteristics Communication Lies

Barometer: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Old Science/Weather

The road to hell is paved with adverbs.

Communication Reading/Writing

I think I’m really learning a lot from my creative writing classes; the entire experience is just indescribable.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Education Learning Reading/Writing

Is French kissing in France just called kissing?

(1973 – ) English comedian, writer, actor, director & producer
Communication

Four-letter Word: Par for the coarse.

Definitions Golf Language Sports

Who remembers when X Factor was just Roman suncream?

British comedian
Communication Wordplay

I would have answered your letter sooner, but you didn’t send one.

(Aiskowitz) (1899 – 1982) humorist
Communication Reading/Writing

Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs.

(1946 – ) British playwright, screen writer & film director
Communication Reviews/Criticism

Peace: In international affairs, a period of cheating between two periods of fighting.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Fights Politics Time

I tell ya, my wife likes to talk during sex; last night, she called me from a motel.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Communication Marriage Sex Speech Wives

When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.

Communication Language

Diplomacy: The patriotic art of lying for one’s country.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Lies

I ran a sculpting studio, until it went bust.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

Flatterer: one who says things to your face that he wouldn’t say behind your back.

Characteristics Communication People Speech

He who shouts loudest has the floor.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Speech

Coward: One who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Don’t make a long story short just so you can tell another one.

Communication Conversation Speech

When all is said and done, more is said than done.

Communication Speech

Auctioneer: The man who proclaims with a hammer that he has picked a pocket with his tongue.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Speech

I hope they notice the mistletoe tied to my coattails as I leave town.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Communication