Subject: Communication » Wordplay (Page 8)

Yawn: It’s always dullest just before the yawn.

Definitions Wordplay

Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn shop?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

Alarm Clock: That which scares the daylight out of you.

Definitions Wordplay

Conjunctivitis.com – that’s a site for sore eyes.

(1967 – ) English actor, writer & comedian
Communication Wordplay

My girlfriend’s dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one: She was livid… “What am I going to do with two dead dogs?”

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
Animals Dogs Wordplay

Through no fault of his own my uncle crashed his car into a lemon tree; he is still bitter and twisted.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

Take my wife… please!

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Marriage Wives Wordplay

Kids in back seats cause accidents, accidents in back seats cause kids.

Children Family Sex Wordplay

Sex Education: Sermon on the mount.

Definitions Sex Wordplay

One arm butlers – they can take it but they can’t dish it out.

(1967 – ) English actor, writer & comedian
Communication Wordplay

He was engaged to a contortionist, but she broke it off.

Communication Relationships Wordplay

Paradox: Two physicians.

Definitions Doctors Wordplay

A chrysanthemum by any other name would be easier to spell.

author
Communication Language Wordplay

Champagne for my real friends, and real pain for my sham friends.

(1949 – ) American singer-songwriter, composer & actor
Communication Friends People Wordplay

What's the opposite of opposite?

(1980 – ) English comedian, television and radio presenter & actor
Communication Wordplay

I hate going to funerals because I’m not a mourning person.

(1946 – ) American comedian, actor & voice actor
Communication Death Wordplay

Gentlemen prefer bonds.

(1855 – 1937) American lawyer, judge, banker & Secretary of Treasury
Communication Wordplay

What's that up the road? … a head?

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

Antibody: Against everyone.

Definitions Wordplay

President Ford tells us all to bite the bullet and Betsy Ford goes on TV and shoots off her mouth.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Communication TV/Movie Quotes Wordplay

Children always take the line of most persistence.

writer
Children Family Wordplay