Subject: Conflict (Page 8)

I’ve spent the past two years looking for my ex-girlfriend’s killer… but no one will do it.

(1978 – ) American writer & stand-up comedian
Conflict Girlfriends Killing People

The army with the smartest dress uniform will lose.

Conflict Military Murphy’s Laws

I made a killing on Wall Street a few years ago…I shot my broker.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Conflict Killing Money

When I see the Ten Most Wanted lists, I always have this thought: If we'd made them feel wanted earlier, they wouldn't be wanted now.

(1892 – 1964) singer, dancer, comedian, actor & songwriter
Conflict Crime

I do have some sad news to report: Bjork could not be here; she was trying on her Oscars dress and Dick Cheney shot her.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Conflict

New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time… most unsolved.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Conflict New York City Places

Many a man is saved from being a thief by finding everything locked up.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Crime Government Law People

I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night… and reduce the crime rate.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Appearance Conflict Crime People Self Ugly

It’s not living alone if you keep a rifle under the bed.

(1962 – ) writer & journalist
Arms Life Things

I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.

(1965 – ) comedian, actor, screenwriter, television producer & director
Conflict Places

Alcohol killed my first wife… I got home drunk one night and shot her.

(1948 – ) British stand-up comedian
Alcohol Conflict Death Food/Drink Killing

Shoplifter: A person with a gift of grab.

Conflict Crime Definitions

You can’t make an omelet without breaking eggs.

Conflict Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.

Murphy’s Laws War

The reason there is so little crime in Germany is that its against the law.

Crime Place Names

Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.

Arms Military Money Murphy’s Laws

As you know, you go to war with the army you have, not the army you might want or wish to have at a later time.

(1932 – ) American businessman & U.S. Secretary of Defense
Conflict Military War

The real trouble with war (modern war) is that it gives no one a chance to kill the right people.

(1885 – 1972) expatriate American poet & critic
Conflict Killing People War

Go to L.A. – they got gangbangers that will stab you, and then go to the corner and wait for the light to turn green.

American stand-up comedian
Conflict People Places

You can get a lot more done with a kind word and a gun than with a kind word alone.

(1899 – 1947) American gangster
Arms Characteristics Things

How is it possible to have a civil war?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Conflict War Wordplay