Subject: Conflict (Page 8)

I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get Saddam out of Iraq; after all, France wouldn’t help us get the Germans out of France!


(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Conflict Places War

When you consider what a chance women have to poison their husbands, it's a wonder there isn't more of it done.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Conflict Husbands Marriage Wives

Starting a war in the name of peace is like poking a hole in a balloon to get more air into it.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Conflict War

Shoplifter Who Soiled Clothes Fails to Wipe Record Clean

Crime Headlines

I thoroughly disapprove of duels; if a man would challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Conflict

We started off trying to set up a small anarchist community, but people wouldn't obey the rules.

English author, actor, humorist & playwright
Conflict Government People

We kill people who kill people because killing people is wrong.

Conflict Killing

I married a German; every night I dress up as Poland and he invades me.

(1945 – ) singer, actress & comedian
Activities Conflict Places Sex

People don’t start wars, governments do.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Conflict Government War

I like going to the park and watching the children run and jump around, because you see, they don't know I'm using blanks.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Arms Children People Things

You can’t say civilization don’t advance, for in every war they kill you in a new way.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Conflict Killing War

Capital Punishment: Killing people who kill people to prove that killing people is wrong.

Crime Death Definitions Killing

Even nowadays a man can't step up and kill a woman without feeling just a bit unchivalrous.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Conflict Killing Men People Women

Music hath the charm to soothe a savage beast, but I'd try a revolver first.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Arms Entertainment Music

I was once arrested for resisting arrest.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Conflict

It’s better to be tried by twelve men than to be carried by six.

Conflict Crime Death Government Law Murphy’s Laws

If you do big things they print your face, and if you do little things they only print your thumbs.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Communication Crime

One of my friends went on a murder weekend… now he is doing life for it.

(1961 – ) English standup comedian, actor & writer
Activities Crime

The best weapon against an enemy is another enemy.

(1844 – 1900) German philosopher
Conflict

The reason there is so little crime in Germany is that its against the law.

Crime Place Names

Pickpocket: A man who believes that every crowd has a silver lining.

Crime Definitions