Subject: Definitions (Page 18)

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Bald: When one has less hair to comb but more face to wash.

Appearance Definitions

Toupée: Top secret.

Appearance Definitions Hair

Experience: What causes a person to make new mistakes instead of the same old ones.

Definitions Mistakes

Psychology: The science that tells you what you already know in words you can’t understand.

Definitions Science/Weather

Diet: The penalty for exceeding the feed limit.

Definitions Food/Drink

Keepsake: Something given us by someone we’ve forgotten.

Definitions Things

Nun: A creature of habit.

Definitions Religion

Abdicate: To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

Body Definitions

Courtship: When a fellow gets so wrapped up in a girl that it’s easy to tie the knot.

Definitions Relationships

Abscond: To move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another.

Crime Definitions

Ultimatum: In diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions.

Definitions

Neurotic: Sane but unhappy about it.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Time

Piano: A parlor utensil for subduing the impertinent visitor. It is operated by depressing the keys of the machine and the spirits of the audience.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Entertainment Music Things

Giraffe: The highest form of animal life.

Animals Definitions Wordplay

Absolute Zero: The lowest grade attainable on a test.

Definitions Education School

Argument: A discussion where two people try to get the last word in first

Definitions

Sunday School: A prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents.

Definitions

Tricycle: A tot rod.

Definitions

Great American: What speakers call a man when they can’t think of anything specifically complimentary to say.

Definitions

Fidelity : A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Definitions Marriage