Subject: Definitions (Page 58)

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Adolescence: The age between puberty and adultery.

Age Definitions Sex

Bachelor: A person who believes in life, liberty, and the happiness of pursuit.

Definitions Men People Relationships

Engagement: A period in which a girl is placed in solitaire confinement.

Definitions Marriage

Accordion Music: Noise that comes from playing both ends against the middle.

Definitions Entertainment Music

Cat: A pygmy lion who loathes mice, hates dogs, and patronizes human beings.

(1863 – 1935) British-born American writer, artist & illustrator
Animals Cats Definitions

Tolerance: Another word for indifference.

Characteristics Definitions

Limit: Maximum number of a particular fish that an angler can take in a day. This number varies from place to place and species to species, but it is a largely theoretical restriction with little practical application.

Activities Definitions

Selfishness: Annoying quality of someone who has what I want, but is not prepared to give it to me.

Definitions

Fashion: Something that goes out of style as soon as most people have one.

Appearance Clothing Definitions

Legal: Used to mean lawful; now it means some kind of loophole.

Definitions Government Law

Friend: Someone who thinks you’re a good egg even though you’re slightly cracked.

Definitions Friends People

Science Fiction: Fairy tales for nerds.

Communication Definitions Science/Weather

Consultation: A medical term meaning “share the wealth.”

Definitions

Teachers: United Mind Workers.

Definitions Education Wordplay

Engagement: The time a girl takes until she finds out if she can do any better.

Definitions Relationships

Anesthetic: The painkiller that crazy women refuse during labor.

Definitions

Friends: There are two kinds of friends – those who are around when you need them, and those who are around when they need you.

Definitions Friends People

Monument: A structure intended to commemorate something which either needs no commemoration or cannot be commemorated.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Definitions Money

Handicap: An allocation of strokes on one or more holes that permits two golfers of very different ability to do equally poorly on the same course.

Definitions Golf Sports

Liberal: A man who feel’s it’s his responsibility to spend a Conservative’s money.

Beliefs Definitions People