Subject: Definitions (Page 73)

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Good Old Days: What people fifty years hence will be calling the present time.

Definitions Past Time

Agreeable Person: One who agrees with me.

Definitions

Aversion: One side of a disputed story.

Definitions

Philosopher: One who, instead of crying over spilt milk, consoles himself with the thought that it was over four-fifths water.

Definitions Occupations

Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Shakespeare: A man whose writings are so excellent it’s believed someone else must have written them.

Definitions

Nymphomania: A disease where the patient enjoys being bedridden.

Definitions Sex

Dog: An intelligent four-footed animal who walks around with an idiot on the end of his leash.

Animals Definitions Dogs

Strip Poker: A game in which the more you lose the more you have to show for it.

Activities Definitions

White Lie: Aversion of the truth.

Beliefs Definitions Honesty Lies Truth

Outdo: To make an enemy.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Connoisseur: One who attains an obsessive knowledge of wines, audio equipment, cats or French cheeses so as to confer a sense of inadequacy on those who would simply enjoy them.

Definitions

Courage: Fear in action.

Definitions

Television Programming: Material that fills the time between commercials.

Definitions Entertainment

Ache: Joint concern.

Body Definitions

Internship: A sleepless ordeal imposed on young M.D.’s for the purpose of weeding out the weak and infirm among them, and eroding the health of the survivors sufficiently to ensure better empathy in the years to come.

Definitions Doctors

Honeymoon: The vacation a man takes before starting to work for a new boss.

Definitions Marriage

Cat: A pygmy lion who loathes mice, hates dogs, and patronizes human beings.

(1863 – 1935) British-born American writer, artist & illustrator
Animals Cats Definitions

Egotist: A person of low taste more interested in himself than in me.

Definitions

Election: When the air is full of speeches and vice versa

Communication Definitions Elections/Voting Government Speech

Good Sport: One who will always let you have your own way.

Definitions